Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A true story . . . . When Apollo Mission Astronaut, Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous “One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Mankind” statement, but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he reentered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark, “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky.” Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some…
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There was this guy (we won’t mention any names) that really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into his mirror, admiring his body. He noticed that he was tanned all over, with the exception of his “thing”. He decided to do something about that. He went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in the sand, except for his “thing” which he left sticking out. Two little…
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Liz Taylor’s Operation Liz Taylor goes in to see her cosmetic surgeon. “I have met the man of my dreams, finally, the love of my life!” she announces to the surgeon. “But I need you to help me with a small problem. This man is only 24-years-old, I am truly head over heels in love with him, and don’t want to disappoint him in any way, so I want you to make my vagina look like an 24-year-old’s.” The surgeon…
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…CCA Prison Realty Trust? They’re buying Corrections Corp. of America in a $3.17 billion deal that will create the world’s largest penitentiary business. The merged entity will market its product under the more user-friendly name, “Motel 6-to-Life.” …Patrizia Martinelli, ex-wife of fashion heir Maurizio Gucci? She was convicted of ordering her husband’s murder and was sentenced to 29 years in prison. Most agree this is a tremendous price for a Gucci knockoff. …McDonald’s? They have a new series of TV…
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I was playing golf one morning and a friend asked if he could play a round against me. I told him, “Sure. What time do you want me to meet you here?” He said, “Nine o’ clock … Maybe nine o’ five.” Sure enough, the next day he is there to tee off at nine o’ clock sharp. He tees off right-handed and I tee off right-handed. We played eighteen holes and he beat me by two strokes. I congratulated…
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YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…
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Hello, my name is Jonathan McKenzie. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before…
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One thing that has always bugged me is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went something like this: Me: Hello? AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T… Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T… Me: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes This is AT&T… Me:…
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Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked “intellectual leadership”. He received a $26 million severance package. With a Little Help from Our Friends! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up… …And What Was…
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Things you shouldn’t say to a cop Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. And that hooker I met at the AIDS clinic said you were a nice guy. Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125mph to keep up with me! Good job! That uniform makes your ass look really big. Excuse me. Is “stick up” hyphenated? I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer. You don’t happen…
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