Old boat Jokes - page 4

10 Truths

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. 3. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal the neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it. 4. Sex is like air; it’s not important…

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Things to Think about

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living. Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone…

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A Single Wish

A man is walking down a beach, and accidentally kicks a bottle out of the sand. He opens the bottle, and a genie appears. The genie said, “I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you one wish. I can only grant one.” The man thought for a while and finally said, “I have always wanted to go to Hawaii. I’ve never been able to go because airplanes are much too frightening for me…

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Minnesota Guide to Computer Lingo

LOG ON: makin’ da vood stove hotter LOG OFF: don’t add no vood MONITOR : keep a eye on da vood stove MEGAHERTZ: vhen a big log drops on your barefoot in da morning FLOPPY DISK: vhat you get from piling too much vood RAM: da hydraulic t’ing dat makes da voodsplitter vork DRIVE: gettin’ home during most of da vinter PROMPT: vhat ya vish da mail vas during da snow season ENTER: come on in WINDOWS: vhat ya shut…

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The Farrell Twins

Darryll and Darren were identical twin boys who lived in a fishing village off the coast of Maine. Darryll Farrell was married and Darren Farrell was single. Together they both owned a small, dilapidated boat. It happened that the same day Darryll’s wife died, Darren’s boat sank. Such is the karma of twins. A kind old lady met Darren on the street and mistaking him for his brother Darryll, said: “Oh, Mr. Farrell, I’m sorry to hear of your great…

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