Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Susie and John are sitting in Primary class during church, John is sitting behind Susie and starts to fall a sleep. The teacher asks, “what did the sick man say to Jesus?” And the teacher calls on susie, who is sleeping, the answer of the question.Then John pokes susie in the back with a pen.and Susie cries out “Oh,holy Christ!” The teacher asks an other question. “What did Christ say to the lord in his prayr?” And she calls on…
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It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she’d take no nonsense from the kiddies this year.While taking the roll, she was told by one boy “My name is Johnny Fuckhauer”. So she said “There’ll be none of that kind of thing this year, Johnny, tell me your REAL name!”. The kid said “No, really teacher, it IS Johnny Fuckhauer. You can go across the hall to fourth grade and ask…
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This drunken old yahoo staggers into a bar with a frightened look on his face. “I need a drink right away!” The bartender asked what was wrong and the drunk explained, “I was on the street corner ‘paddling the pickle’ when a truck came by, grazed it, and knocked it out of my hand.” The bartender couldn’t beleive what he was hearing but the drunk swore it was true. “You see,” the drunk slurred, “I found it laying by the…
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With corporate mergers in the news these days, here are a few that might be fun. Xerox and Wurlitzer: To make reproductive organs. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: The merged company will be called Fairwell, Honeychild Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Keebler: Will be renamed Poly Warner Cracker W.R Grace Co., Fuller Brush, Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale Business Systems: Hale Mary, Fuller Grace 3M and Goodyear: Will be called MMMGood John Deere and Abitibi-Price: Will be Deere Abi Honeywell,…
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Dr. Masters and Dr. Johnson were discussing the performance of Nurse Ratchett who seemed to have trouble understanding the simplest instruction. Dr. Masters said, “I notice Nurse Ratchett always mixes up the words in any instruction I give her. Why, just recently, I told her to give Mr. Jones an injection of two-milligrams of morphine every 10 hours. What she did was to give him an injection of 10-milligrams every two hours. Mr. Jones damn near died on us!” “Tell…
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1: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block! 2: What do you say to a blonde that won’t give in? “Have another beer.” 3: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine? “Daddy! I want to go to Miami 4: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don’t exist and the…
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“How come you’re late?” asks the boss as John Swiftless comes walking through the door, about a half hour late for his shift at the plant. “It was awful!” John explains. “I was walking down Oak Street, and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street; he’d been thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that First-Aid course! All…
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When I arrived for my daughter’s parent-teacher conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered, especially when she started telling me that my little girl didn’t always pay attention in class and was sometimes a little flighty. “For example she’ll do the wrong page in the workbook,” the teacher explained, “and I’ve even found her sitting in the wrong desk.” “I don’t understand that,” I replied, defensively. “Where could she have gotten that?” The teacher went on to reassure me that…
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One day Jon came home from bible school. And his father took one look at him and saw he had a black eye! “Jon, what on earth happened?” his father said. “Well Dad,” Jon started, “we were all in the sanctuary saying our prayers. Then we all stood up to sing, and Mrs. Johnson was in the pew in front of me, and I saw that her dress was caught in the crack of he butt! So, I thought I…
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Little Johnny was caught swearing by his teacher. “Johnny,” she said, “you shouldn’t use that kind of language. Where did you hear such talk, anyway?” “My daddy said it,” he responded. “Well, that doesn’t matter,” explained the teacher. “You don’t even know what it means.” “I do, too!” Little Johnny retorted. “It means the car won’t start.”
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