Oh john Jokes - page 16

Little Johnny asked his mother, “mam, is our new au pair girl a mechanical woman, you know, a robot?” “Of course not, Johnny, why do you ask?” “Well, I just heard Daddy telling the man next door that he’d like to screw her ass off.”

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The teacher asked the students to bring an electrical appliance for “Show and Tell,” and the next day every kid had something. The teacher asks Wendy, “What did you bring? “I brought a Walkman.” “And what is it for?” “You can listen to music with it!” “That’s nice, Wendy. And what did you bring, Kenny?” “I brought a ‘lectrical can opener. It opens cans!” “Well done, Kenny. But it seems that Johnny didn’t bring anything!” “Yes, I did. It’s in…

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A guy’s walking down the street and sees Dirty Johnny smoking a cigarette. He says, “Kid, you’re too young to smoke.” Johnny looks up and doesn’t say anything. The guy says, “How old are you?” Johnny says, “Six.” The guy says, “Six? When did you start smoking?” Johnny says, “Right after the first time I got laid.” The guy says, “Right after the first time you got laid? When was that?” Johnny says, “I don’t remember. I was drunk.”

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The day before John was to get married he confided in his father that he was scared and asked him his advice as to what he should do. John’s father said, “Son, you must follow your heart as to what’s right but I will tell you this story of the last time I was scared.” John’s father continued: “The year was 1969, I was a paratrouper in the 101st airborn. We were instructed to jump from ten thousand feet into…

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