Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable, because no matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I’m lying. On one occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was too humiliating to reveal. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown.…
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There was this ad posted on the office window of an accounting firm : “HELP wanted. Must be able to type 70 words per minute. Computer literacy is required. Must be bilingual. EQUAL EMPLOYER.” So there was this dog ambling outside the office. It noticed the ad and shuffled into the office to apply for the position. The employer took one look at the dog, shook his head and said “But I can’t hire a dog.” The dog pointed at…
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A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s get off the corner, people.” A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, “Let’s get off that corner…NOW!” Intimidated, the group of people…
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A government employee sits in his office and, out of boredom, decides to see what’s in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. “This will look nice on my mantelpiece,” he decides and takes it home with him. While he’s polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. “I wish for an ice cold beer right now!” He gets his beer and drinks it. Now that he can…
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A visitor from England was running around town yelling, “The meteor is coming! The meteor is coming! Run and hide, NOW!” A police officer stopped him and said, “What the hell are you yelling about?” The British subject explained that he was repeating what he overheard from two other British subjects, both of whom the officer knew. Hearing the explanation, the policeman got very angry. “WHY can’t you folks from England learn to pronounce the letter ‘H’, when you are…
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1. Well, aren’t we just a ray of fucking sunshine? 2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we? 3. A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth. 4. Do I look like a fucking people person? 5. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting. 6. If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I’ll put shoes on my cat. (Wait a minute, I hate cats. Change that to my dog.) 7. Did the aliens…
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01. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 02. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen. 03. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom? 04. A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth. 05. Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after. 06. Do I look like a fricking people person? 07. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting. 08. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 09.…
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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all worked in the same office together. After a few weeks, they began to notice that their boss would slip out unnoticed hours early. One day, the three of them got together and decided that they would leave work early the next day after their boss had left. The following day, after their boss had left, the brunette, the redhead, and the blonde all left and went their separate ways. The brunette went…
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A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election. We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay off. We demand speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won’t buy a car if it can’t go over 100 miles an hour. We know…
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1: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block! 2: What do you say to a blonde that won’t give in? “Have another beer.” 3: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine? “Daddy! I want to go to Miami 4: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don’t exist and the…
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