Frankenstein the Monster
Q. Do you know why FRANKENSTEIN never had any children? A. Because his nuts are in his neck!!!
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Nuts Jokes - page 9
‘North Country’ Humor from Minnesota
Ole, Lena and Sven were lost in the woods of Northern Minnesota and were becoming desperate, having run out of food several days ago. It was winter, the snow was deep, their situation was looking very bleak. When Ole dug down into the snow to look for nuts, he found an oil lamp and upon rubbing it to get the snow off, a genie came out. The genie says, “I am da great genie of Nordern Minnesooota and I can…
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FREE BEER
A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar: FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is. Bartender: “Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once AND, you can’t make a face while doing it. Second, there’s a ‘gator out back with a sore tooth…you have to remove…
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Play Ball
A doctor at an (insane) asylum, decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, “Up, nuts!” and the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, “Down, nuts!” and they all sat. After a home run he yelled, “Cheer, nuts!” and they all…
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HoW To KeEp A hEaLtHy LeVeL Of iNSaNiTy ….
…. AnD dRiVe OtHeR PeOpLe iNsAnE: At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them…
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Little Johnny
Little Johnny is sitting in a buth at dairy queen all dressed up in his cowboy suit and two guns in his pocket. The waitress walks up to him and asks him what he wants he says : I want a sunday. The waitress ask if he want wip cream .he pulls his guns out of his pockets and says yeah! The waitress asks him if he wants nuts on his sunday he pulls his guns out of his pockets…
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Whole Lotta Yo Mama
SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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The Barber
A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut but the barber refused saying, “You do God’s work.” The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop. A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment saying, “You protect the public.” The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop. A lawyer came…
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The Amazing Goldstein!
A traveling salesman visits to a small town in the Midwest and sees a circus banner reading, “Don’t miss the Amazing Goldstein!” Curious, he buys a ticket and sits through the usual circus acts. Animals, clowns, contortionists, and other questionable acts. Finally the trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring. There in the middle of the ring is a table with three walnuts on it. In comes a little old Jewish man, five feet tall and barely…
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Holiday Fruitcake
Holiday Fruitcake Recipe. Sure to lift your spirits: 1 C water 1C sugar 4 eggs 2 cups dried fruit 1 fifth Jack Daniels whiskey *Get large mixing bowl *Sample whiskey to check for quality. *Check whiskey again *Pour one level cup of whiskey *Drink *Turn on the electric mixer *Beat one cup of butter in the bowl *Add one seaspoon of tugar and beat again *Cry another tup of whiskey *Dump 2 cups of dried fruit into bowl *Mix on…
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