Nny Jokes - page 9

Johnny Learns Anatomy

“For today’s science class, we’ll be looking at anatomy. I’ve brought in this dead cat so we can all have a look at how it functions,” started the science teacher. The teacher asks a bright young student sitting in the front row, “Can you tell me how the cat’s teeth stay in, young man?” “Sure! Its gums hold them in!” replies the kid. “Ok, someone else, how about the fur?” “Its skin holds it on!” replies another bright student. “Ok,…

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Funny You Should Ask….

U.S. poet Louis Uttermeyer once returned his speaker’s fee to a small and impoverished group, enjoining them to put the money to good use. A little later, happening to inquire what good use they had found for the money, he was told that they had put it into a fund to get better speakers next year.

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Little Johnny Strikes

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. “Why do you do that, mommy?” he asked. “To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. “What’s the matter?” asked Little Johnny. “Giving up?”

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The Funny Dog

A young tough robbed an elderly gentleman walking in his neighborhood. A week later he sees the gentleman walking again but this time he has a small dog that looks like a dachshund. The young tough decides to rob him again but decides to get a ferocious dog to take along. A few days later he sees the man walking with his dog and takes his dog to rob him. As he approaches, the elderly gentleman’s dog grabs the ferocious…

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Little Johnny’s New Word

Little Johnny came home from school one day and told his mother that he learned a new word. “It starts with an ‘F’ and ends with a ‘K’!” he told her. His mother thought for a moment and smacked him. Little Johnny sobbed, “Mommy, what’s wrong with ‘firetruck’?!”

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Sex Ed for Little Johnny

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?” “No,” said his mom, “of course not.” Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay, we can play that game again!”

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Little Johnny Quickies

Teacher: Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America. Little Johnny: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? Class: Little Johnny! ——————————————————- Teacher: Are you chewing gum? Little Johnny: No, I’m Little Johnny. ——————————————————- Teacher: How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day? Little Johnny: I get up early. ——————————————————- Teacher: Didn’t you promise to behave? Little Johnny: Yes, sir. Teacher: And didn’t I promise to punish you if you didn’t?…

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Blind Bunny

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell right on his twitchy, little nose. “Oh, please excuse me!” said the bunny. “I didn’t mean to trip over you, but I’m blind and couldn’t see.” “That’s perfectly all right,” replied the snake. To be sure, the snake said, “It was MY fault. I didn’t mean to trip you, but I’m blind, too, and I didn’t see you coming. By…

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Some funny blonde jokes

Q & A Q:How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? A:Tell him a joke on Thursday. Q:A blonde is going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? A:Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. Q:Why did God give blondes 2% more brains than horses? A:Because he didn’t want them shitting in the streets during parades. Q:Why can’t blondes make ice cubes? A:They always forget the…

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Lots of Little Johnny jokes

Teacher: Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America. Little Johnny: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? Class: Little Johnny! —- Teacher: Are you chewing gum? Little Johnny: No, I’m Little Johnny. —- Teacher: How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day? Little Johnny: I get up early. —- Teacher; Didn’t you promise to behave? Little Johnny: Yes, sir. Teacher: And didn’t I promise to punish you if you didn’t?…

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Read JokeLots of Little Johnny jokes