Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at the same time. The Italian boy’s father presents him with a brand-new pistol. On the other side of town, at his Bar Mitzvah, the Jewish boy receives a beautiful gold watch. The next day in school, the two boys are showing each other what they got. It turns out that each boy likes the other’s present better, and so they trade. That night, when the Italian boy…
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Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson’s house, Robinson knew he was coming to borrow something. “He won’t get away with it this time,” muttered Robinson to his wife. “Watch this.” “Er, I wonder if you’d be using your power saw this morning,” the neighbor began. “Gee, I’m awfully sorry,” said Robinson, with a smug look, “but the fact of the matter is, I’ll be using it all day.” “In that case,” said the neighbor, “you won’t be…
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1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. 2. A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other’s head. 3. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial…
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Yo mamma — THE LIST YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll…
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YO MOMMA SO STUPID… Yo momma so stupid, she studied for a drug test! Yo momma so stupid, she thought, “Wu Tang” was an African orange drink! Yo momma so stupid she hears it’s chilly outside so she gets a bowl. Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order! Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! Yo momma…
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You know you should retire to Florida?. When your wife gives your favorite polyester leisure suit to Goodwill and a teenager shows up at your door wearing it on Halloween night. When you throw away your alarm clock and let your bladder wake you up at 7am every morning. When you mention Pearl Harbor to your Grandson and he says he heard of her didn?t she use to sing with a big band? When you realize that you have underwear…
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During a storm you check the cattle before you check the kids. You are related to more than half the town. You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance. Your car breaks down outside of town and news of it gets back to town before you do. Without thinking, you wave to all oncoming traffic. You don’t buy all your vegetables at the grocery store. You don’t put too much effort into hairstyles due…
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It was siesta time in the sleepy Mexican village. Pedro reclined on the sidewalk while his favorite ass, Pablo, stood nearby. An American tourist wandered by, stopped to click a few photos of Pedro and Pablo, then in jest, asked Pedro if he knew what time it was. Pedro looked up at him, quietly reached over, hefted Pablo’s huge nuts, squinted at them, said “Two-fifteen, senor,” then went back to his siesta. When the tourist checked his watch, it said…
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PERSONAL AD DEFINITIONS (What they REALLY mean) FIRST THE WOMEN 40-ish……………… 48 Adventurer………….. Has had more partners than you ever will Athletic……………. Flat-chested Average looking……… Ugly Beautiful…………… Pathological liar Contagious Smile…….. Bring your penicillin Educated……………. College dropout Emotionally Secure…… Medicated Feminist……………. Fat; ball buster Free spirit…………. Substance user Friendship first…….. Trying to live down reputation as slut Fun………………… Annoying Gentle……………… Comatose Good Listener……….. Borderline Autistic New-Age…………….. All body hair, all the time Old-fashioned……….. Lights out, missionary position only Open-minded…………. Desperate…
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Men, the next time you go to the public toilets, you may observe one of the following types of vistors: Excitable Type: Pants are twisted, cannot find hole, rips pants in anger. Sociable Type: Joins pals for a piss whether he wants one or not. Timid Type: Cannot pee if anyone is watching, pretends he has been and sneaks back later. Nosy Type: Peeps over partition to have a look at the other fellow’s tool. Indifferent Type: All urinals being…
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