Nasa Jokes - page 2

DEAR IRS

There was a man who computed his taxes for 1998 and discovered that he owed $3407. He packaged up his payment and included this letter: Dear IRS: Enclosed is my 1998 Tax Return & payment. Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat. Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2400) and six…

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Ask Your Doctor About…

Now that Viagra has become one of the top prescriptions, you should ask your doctor about: Mixing Viagra with Prozac – that way, if you don’t get laid, you don’t get upset Mixing Viagra with herbal Ginko Biloba – that way, if you get laid, you won’t forget Nasal Spray Viagra – this method is only for Dickheads Don’t mix Viagra with Rogaine – you’ll turn into Don King

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A true story…

A true story . . . . When Apollo Mission Astronaut, Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous “One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Mankind” statement, but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he reentered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark, “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky.” Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some…

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Apollo Moon Mission

About 1966 or so, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo Moon Mission, took the astronauts near Tuba City where the terrain of the Navajo Reservation looks very much like the lunar surface. Alone, with all the trucks and large vehicles, there were two large figures dressed in full lunar space suits. Nearby, a Navajo sheep herder and his son were watching the strange creatures walk about, occasionally being tended by personnel. The two Navajo peple were noticed and…

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Yo mamma — THE LIST

YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…

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Just Trying to Make a Buck

Some say lawyers get a raw deal: There’s always another joke around the corner. A NASA official is interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one can go, and he can’t return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, is asked how much he wants to be paid for going. “A million dollars,” he answers, “because I want to donate it to M.I.T.” The next applicant, a doctor, is asked the same question. He asks for $2 million. “I…

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Whole Lotta Yo Mama

SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…

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50 ways to annoy your roomate

1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally. 2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class. 3. Twitch a lot. 4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep. 5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them. 6. Become a subgenius. 7. Inject his/her twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG. 8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat.…

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100 Blonde Jokes!

1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. 5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. 6. Q: How does a blonde part their…

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