Naked woman Jokes - page 3

Gay Head

For those of you who don’t know, Gay Head is the name of a small town on Martha’s Vineyard, now renamed to Aquinna (I can’t imagine why they renamed it). It is known for its fabulous beach and stunning red cliffs overlooking the beach. On my recent vacation, I decided to go there for the day. Feeling a little brave, I decided to head for the Northwest end of the beach. This is where bathing suits are optional. As I…

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Is That Really Necessary?

A woman is in her doctor’s office getting undressed for an examination. She turns to a naked blond lady sitting beside her and says, “I told the doctor I have a cold, and he told me to strip. Does that seem suspicious to you?” The naked blonde says, “Don’t ask me. I’m only here to fix the fax machine.”

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Shower Power

How To Shower Like A Woman: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so you can complain and whine even more about how you’re getting fat. 4. Get in the shower.…

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male comebacks to female comebacks

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there considers you a slut. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Man: Probably because you will be on your knees gobbling my cock. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine. Man: That’s cool, ’cause after I…

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Speeding Senior Citizen…..

Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loves to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman is one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerate her, and some actually join in… one day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and a man stepped out with his arm stretched out… “Stop!” he said in…

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Impress Me!

TO IMPRESS A WOMAN: Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her TO IMPRESS A MAN: Show up naked. Bring beer.

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Nun for me

There once was a nun and a priest crossing the dessert, on a camel. The camel all of a sudden got sick and started to die. The nun and priest could not continue going without a camel, so they set up shelter. They both knew they were going to die. So, the priest turned to the nun and said, “I’ve never seen a woman naked, will you strip for me?” The nun said, “I’ve never seen a man naked, if…

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Dream Interpretation

Three men had gotten drunk one night, and they all somehow ended up naked in the same bed. They woke up the next morning confused, but the guy on the end, obviously still half-asleep, began to talk. “I had the best dream last night. I was making love to this gorgeous woman all night long. It was just awesome.” He began to go through the details, explaining what they did and what it was like. “Say,” he started, “What did…

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wacky thoughts

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him – Is he still wrong? If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Is there another word for synonym? Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice?” When you open a bag of cotton balls,…

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JOKE LIST

Who makes more money, a prostitute or a drug dealer? A prostitute, they can clean their crack and sell it again ******************************** What do bungee jumping and a prostitute have in common? They’re both cheap, they last only a few seconds, and if the rubber band breaks, you’re dead. ******************************** How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? The joystick is wet. ******************************** What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant? Her feet…

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