Nake Jokes - page 7

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction. 4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. 5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat) 6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration. 7. Be more or less specific. 8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary. 9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies. 10. No sentence fragments. 11. Contractions aren’t necessary…

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A man decides that he is going to have a party and invite everyone he knows and tells them to bring friends. On the invitation he puts “theme party — come as a human emotion”. On the night of the party the first guest arrives and he opens the door to see a guy covered in green paint with the letters n and v on his chest. He says, “That’s a great costume, what emotion have you come as?” The…

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Halloween is fast approaching. Here are a few costume ideas for him and her. They are easy to make and are quite inexpensive. She can go naked except for a pair of boots. He can go naked except for a string hanging around his waist holding a frying pan to cover his private parts. Who will they be? Puss and Boots, and Peter Pan. She can go naked except for a sting holding a lemon in front of her private…

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SYSTEM: Attention. Alert registered. CENTRAL: Alert? Number One, report! NUMBER ONE: Sir! We’re picking up loud music. CENTRAL: Music? We were just asleep! NUMBER ONE: Yes sir. Ears report it’s “The Last Train to Clarksville.” CENTRAL: Good lord, are we being tortured? NUMBER ONE: Sir, Eyes are functional and request instruction. CENTRAL: Tell them to open up and try to find out what is going on. NUMBER ONE: Scope! Okay, I see darkness… darkness… Wait, there’s a woman sleeping there.…

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A young man was invited to the office party, and told it was fancy dress. Wanting to impress his co-workers he racked his brains to come up with an original idea. The night of the party arrived. He knocked at the door and entered into the room. Not only was he stark naked but his girlfriend, who he was giving a piggy-back to, was also stark naked. The office manager raced up to him and said ‘WHAT ON EARTH ARE…

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Three elderly ladies are sitting on a park bench feeding the pigeons. Suddenly, a flasher runs up, stands in front of them and opens his coat, exposing his naked body. The first elderly lady had a stroke. The second elderly lady also had a stroke. But the third elderly lady couldn’t quite reach it.

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