Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day at kindergarten, the teacher says to the class of five-year-olds, “I’ll give $2 to the child who can tell me who the most famous man who ever lived was.” An Irish boy raised his hand and said, “Please, Miss, it was St. Patrick.” The teacher said, “Sorry, Sean, that’s not correct.” Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, “Please, Miss, it was St. Andrew.” The teacher replied, “I’m sorry, Hamish, that’s not right either.” Finally,…
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Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and started a small business. It did well, and soon he had enough money to send for the wife and children. The work kept him very busy, so he never had time to learn to write, but the bank was happy to do business with him, even though his signature consisted of two X’s. He prospered, he opened more stores, the kids were transferred to private schools,…
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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller’s name is Patricia Whack. So he says, “Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation.” Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad…
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An armless man walks into a bar which is empty except for the bartender. He orders a drink, and when he is served, asks the bartender if he will get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms. The bartender obliges him. He then asks if the bartender will tip the glass to his lips. The bartender does this until the man finishes his drink. After this, he asks the bartender if he will get…
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A city gent is walking out of a tube station when a beggar accosts him and asks him for money for some food. The city gent replies: “Neither a lender nor a borrower be – William Shakespeare” and walks off. A few days later the beggar is wandering down a country lane when he sees the same city gent with the hood of his Rolls Royce up. The city gent says: “I say! Could you give me a push to…
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“EVERYTHING COMES IN THREES” Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when three “ones” come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way, in medieval times it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern. “YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU (When you die)” Well….., that depends on what it is. If it’s your dark blue suit, you can certainly…
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When my printer’s type began to grow faint, I called a local repair shop, where a friendly man informed me that the printer probably only needed to be cleaned. Since the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told me I might be better off reading the printer’s manual and trying to do the job myself. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, I asked, “Does your boss know that you discourage business this way?” “Actually, it’s my boss’ idea,” the employee…
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One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway. He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head and the golf ball lying right beside him. “Goodness,” says the golfer then proceeds to revive the poor little guy. Upon awakening, the little guy says,…
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A man sat in a bar without money hoping to somehow score a free drink. Thinking up a clever plan, as he was a wood lover he makes a bet with the barman that he can identify any wood by just smelling it, even blind folded. The barman ran outside, picked up a pine and asked the man to smell it, he did so and said, “This is pine.” Giving him his free drink the barman ran out again and…
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A guy gets home from work one night and hears a voice. The voice tells him, “Quit your job, sell your house, take your money and go to Vegas”. The man is disturbed at what he hears and ignores the voice. The next day when he gets home from work, the same thing happens. The voice tells him, “Quit your job, sell your house, take your money and go to Vegas.” Again the man ignores the voice, though he is…
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