Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The son of a Kentucky moonshiner wanted to go to college, but his father said, “No one in our family got past eighth grade, and we made out ok.” He finally agreed to send his son to college but gave him a warning to do well and learn as much as he could. When the son came home on Christmas vacation his father asked him what he learned. The son said had been taking remedial algebra. His father said, “Say…
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“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “Let’s take your car.” Really means…. “Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.” “Woman driver.” Really means…. “Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me.” “I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”…
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A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him. As he sits down, the bartender comes over and asks for their order. The man says, “I’ll have a beer.” He turns to the ostrich and asks “What’s yours?” “I’ll have a beer too,” says the ostrich. The bartender pours the beer and says, “That will be $3.40 please.” The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man…
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During an informal discussion with former President Harry Truman, an eager young student asked, “How do I get started in politics, sir?” “You’ve already started,” replied Truman. “You’re spending somebody else’s money, aren’t you?”
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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The bank manager noticed the new clerk was something of an idiot at counting money and adding up figures. “Where did you get your finance education?” he asked. “Yale,” replied the lad. “And what’s your name?” asked the manager. “Yim Yohnston,” he replied.
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The Rosenthals had an outstandingly happy and successful marriage, and Mr. Rosenthal was once asked to what he attributed this remarkable situation. “It’s simple,” he said. “Division of labor. My wife makes all the small, routine decisions. She decides what house we buy, when we need new cars, where we go on vacation, whether the kids go to private schools, if I should change my job, and so on.” “And you?” “I make the big, fundamental decisions. I decide if…
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A blonde took a trip to Las Vegas and decided too crash for the night. The quickly drove over to a Motel 6 and got a room. But as she was taking her luggage to her room she stopped in front of a vending machine, staring at it greedily. She quickly dropped her stuff and reached into her pocket to pull out her coins. She put the coins in the slot and pressed the button. A coke fell out of…
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The Top 16 Signs You’re on a Mafia Hit List 16. Your waiter wails in anguish as he tosses you the menu from the kitchen. 15. Your plan to skim protection money was brilliant, unlike your informercial telling others how to do likewise. 14. AOL calls to tell you your ID has changed to Sammy The Weasel. 13. Breaks seem squishy, accelerator’s kinda stuck, and there’s a half-eaten cannoli in your ashtray. 12. Three days in a row, you’ve thrown…
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In old Italy, a young couple had just gotten married and being without much money, they were staying at her Mama’s house. The young husband had arrived home early from the factory one day. He kissed his new wife and asked her to join him upstairs. The bride, being very shy, had never seen her husband naked during the daylight hours. She was nervous, but Mama, who was cooking spaghetti, told her to go up stairs and enjoy! Moments later,…
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