Mommy mommy Jokes - page 3

Lifesavers

A teacher was working with her pupils, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. One day she brought in rolls of lifesavers of all flavors. “Children,” she announced, passing out the lifesavers, “I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these and then tell me what they are.” The kids managed to identify the taste of cherries, lemons, and mint, but when the teacher gave them the honey-flavored lifesavers, every one of the kids was stumped. “I’ll give…

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Thunderstorm Fears

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked, with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?” The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t, Dear,” she said. I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.” A long silence was broken at last by his shaky, little voice: “The big sissy.”

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Colours

Classroom scene: The teacher walks into her fifth grade class and says: “OK children, today we will not use the textbook.” All the children were happy, especially those who didn’t get their homework done. Teacher goes on to say, “Today we will be talking about colours, and we will use our imagination to talk about colours. Can anyone tell me a story about colours?” An Irish boy raises his hand and starts “My daddy is a policeman and he wears…

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Black Sponge

A little boy accidentally walks into the bathroom and sees his mother naked. The little boy in awe says, “Mommy, what is that?!” His mother replied with, “Ahh, it’s my black sponge…now, go outside and play.” The next day, the little boy once again walked into the bathroom and saw his mother naked. The little boy asked, “Mommy, what happened to your black sponge?” The mother replied, “I lost it…now, go outside and play.” The next day, the little boy…

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Horsie Ride for Little Johnny

Little Johnny is passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peaks in and catches his folks in the act. Before daddy can even react, Little Johnny exclaims, “Oh boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride your back?” Daddy, relieved that Johnny’s not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees… Johnny hops on daddy and starts…

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How Babies are Made

A young mother was once again pregnant and trying to explain to her little girl how she had gotten that way. She explained how a baby was growing in her tummy, and how it took an egg and a sperm. Daddy made the sperm, and Mommy made the egg. The little girl asks, “So if it takes a sperm and an egg to make a baby, and the egg is already in your tummy, then how does the sperm get…

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Little Johnny & the taste test

One day a third grade teacher was giving a guessing test to her students. She told them to close their eyes, while she put an item of food in their mouth. She told Bobby to close his eyes and open his mouth. She put an orange slice in his mouth and said, “Tell me what it is.” Bobby said an orange slice. She said, “You win.” She told Jane to do the same and she put a Hershey’s kiss in…

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Through the eyes of a child…

Children’s Comments An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?” Children on Religion….. A mother…

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Cow Surprised

One day a little boy was watching some cows in a field. There was a brown cow, a white cow and a bull. After a few mintues the boy runs into the house where his home is. “Mommy, the bull is fucking the brown cow!” the boy says “Now Billy, that is not what we say, we say the bull surprised the brown cow.” The little boy leaves and then comes back a little while later. “Mommy, mommy!” the boys…

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Don’t Pee in Church!

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, “Mommy, I have to pee.” The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word ‘pee’ in church. From now on when you have to ‘pee,’ just tell me that you have to ‘whisper’.” The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his Father and during the service said to his father, “Daddy, I have to whisper.” The Father…

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Read JokeDon’t Pee in Church!