Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Little Johnny woke up one morning with the shits, so he asked his his mom if he could stay home. She told him he could stay home from school, but only if he went to the store to get some medicine first. Johnny asked her what would he do if he had to shit on the way there, or on the way back home. She gave him a hat and told him to go in it if he couldn’t wait.…
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A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life. “Wow, this is great,” he thought. It wasn’t long before he came to a hedge and after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight – lots of other bunny rabbits, all…
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The Jumbo 747 had just reached cruising altitude on the flight from New York to Los Angeles when stewardess Cathy Moran brought the Captain and the Co-pilot hot cups of fresh coffee. “Thanks, gorgeous”, winked Captain Prescott. “You come up here and sit with me any time you want.” Cathy Moran was not flattered by his flirtations but she smiled and withdrew to resume her passenger duties. “Ladies and Gentlemen,” announced the pilot over the P.A. “This is your Captain…
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Over breakfast recently, a woman said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course, I do,” he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 a.m., the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen, long-stemmed red roses. At 1 p.m., a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn’t wait for…
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For the first time in many years, a friend of ours traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $1.50, my friend couldn’t help but comment, “The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents.” “Well, Sir,” the attendant replied with a grin, “you’re really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now.”
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Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night. Look at that moon!” The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. “You are wrong. That’s not the moon; that”s the sun!” Both continued arguing for awhile when they came upon another drunk walking along. So they stopped him and said, “Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that’s shining. Is it…
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A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for…
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A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. “Is this the vet?” asked an elderly lady’s voice. “Yes, it is”, replied the vet, “Is this an emergency?” “Well, sort of”,…
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The Old Witness A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial — a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You…
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How to be Politically Correct when talking about Men… He does not have a beer gut… He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility. He is not quiet… He is a Conversational Minimalist. He is not stupid… He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development. He does not get lost all the time… He discovers Alternative Destinations. He is not balding… He is in Follicle Regression. He is not a cradle robber… He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships. He does not get falling-down…
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