Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loves to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman is one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerate her, and some actually join in… one day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and a man stepped out with his arm stretched out… “Stop!” he said in…
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A cleaning woman was applying for a new position. When asked why she left her last employment, she replied, “Yessir, they paid good wages, but it was the most ridiculous place I ever worked! They played a game called ‘Bridge,’ and last night a lot of folks were there. As I was about to bring in refreshments, I heard a man say, ‘Lay down and let’s see what you got.’ Another man said, ‘I got strength and no length.’ And…
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An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first. It’s easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them. I don’t mind going nowhere as long as it’s an interesting path. Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker. It hurts to be on the cutting edge. I don’t get even, I…
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Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess’ lap and said: “Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that…
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Little Johnny was in church with his mom and dad. This Sunday they happened to be sitting behind a woman whose dress was full of static electricity. When she stood up to sing the next hymn, her dress got stuck in the crack of her butt. Little Johnny, being very naughty, reached out and grabbed her dress and pulled it out of her crack. “JOHNNY!” cried his mother, “Don’t ever do that again!” The woman in the dress was also…
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After dinner and a movie, Carl drove his date to a quiet, country road and made his move. When Mary responded enthusiastically to his kissing, he tried sliding his hand up her skirt. Suddenly, she jerked away, got out of the car and stomped home. That night she wrote in her diary, “A girl’s best friends are her own two legs.” On their next date, Carl returned to the country road. As they were necking, he slid his hand up…
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Hello, my name is Jonathan McKenzie. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before…
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To: All Employees In the past, employees have been permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines, resulting in loss of employee time and production. Effective January 5, 1986, a Restroom Trip Policy (RTP) will be established to provide a consistent and precise method of accounting for each employee’s restroom time, as well as ensuring equal time for each employee. Under this policy, a Restroom Trip Bank (RTB) will be established for each employee. The first day of…
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OFFICIAL BABY BOOMER EXAM Answers below 1. “Kookie; Kookie. Lend me your ________________.” 2. The “battle cry” of the hippies in the sixties was “Turn on; tune in;________________.” 3. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, “Who was that masked man?” Invariably, someone would answer, “I don’t know, but he left this behind.” What did he leave behind?__________________ 4. Folk songs were played side by side with rock and…
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One day Mother sent my little brother to the post office to mail a letter. A few minutes later, he came back with a suspicious smile on his face. “What happened?” my mother asked. “I just fooled the people at the post office. When no one was looking, I dropped the letter into the box without buying any stamps.”
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