Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Today’s joke is interactive and requires the use of Microsoft Word 97. 1) Go into Microsoft Word 97. Create a new sheet. 2) On the sheet, type the words “unable to find my Viagra” 3) Highlight the entire line you typed in. 4) Go to your menu bar. 5) Select Tools, Thesaurus. (Sometimes it is Tools, Language, Thesaurus) 6) Look what it says.
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If you are not a computer geek, you may not get this one. I built my first pc last week, I am very proud of it. I have a 350 mhz AMD K- 2 cpu, a 100 mhz system board, 512k l2 cache, 64 meg sdram dimms chip, a 6.4 gig hard drive with 512k cache and ultra dma/33, a 40x and a 40x cdrom. I would love to tell you about the performance, but I am still waiting for…
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50. Act Naturally 49. Found Missing 48. Resident Alien 47. Advanced BASIC 46. Genuine Imitation 45. Airline Food 44. Good Grief 43. Same Difference 42. Almost Exactly 41. Government Organization 40. Sanitary Landfill 39. Alone Together 38. Legally Drunk 37. Silent Scream 36. British Fashion 35. Living Dead 34. Small Crowd 33. Business Ethics 32. Soft Rock 31. Butt Head 30. Military Intelligence 29. Software Documentation 28. New York Culture 27. New Classics 26. Sweet Sorrow 25. Childproof 24. “Now,…
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There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong. The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting…
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The “I Love You” virus that infects users of Microsoft’s outlook has morphed. Watch for these variations: – The “I love you, too” virus – Responds with an appropriate letter stating that the user loves you as well. Spreads peace and harmony throughout the corporate workplace, causing lost productivity and chaos on Wall Street as no one tries to screw anyone else out of a deal. – The “I’m looking for more of a commitment” virus – Receives the “I…
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A magazine recently ran a “Dilbert quotes” contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life managers. Here are the Top 12 finalists: 1. As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA.) 2. What I need is a list of…
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Microsoft has announced that Win98 will be released with a suggested retail price of $109US. Inside sources have been able to determine the cost of each of the Win98 “features”: $1 – Disk Defragmenter Optimization Wizard $1 – Windows System Update $1 – System File Checker Utility $1 – Windows Tune-Up Wizard $1 – Dr. Watson Utility $1 – New Backup Utility $1 – New Accessibility Tools $1 – FAT32 $1 – Windows 98 HelpDesk $1 – System Troubleshooter $1…
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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position and course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter’s window. The pilot’s sign said “WHERE AM I?” in large letters. People in the tall building quickly…
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I think we have been wasting our time preparing for Y2K. You know we are going to have the same problem in the year 10000 with the five digit year, and I think we should be working on that now. I call it the YAK problem (A being the hexadecimal character for 10). I just hate to think we will have to be going through the same things 8 thousand years from now. I also realize that Bill Gates agrees…
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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft?s electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter?s position and course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a hand-written sign, and held it in the helicopter?s window. The pilot?s sign said ?WHERE AM I?? in large letters. People in the tall building quickly…
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