Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
An elderly man was at home, upstairs dying in bed. He smelled the aroma of his favourite chocolate chip cookies baking. He wanted one last cookie before he died. He fell out of bed, crawled to the landing, rolled down the stairs and crawled into the kitchen where his wife, Mary, was busily baking cookies. With his last remaining strength, he crawled to the table and was just barely able to lift his withered arm to the cookie sheet. As…
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Mary is in a barn playing with matches when all of the sudden the barn catches on fire and burns to the ground. Mary goes inside to tell her mother. Her mother says,” Just wait until your father gets home!” Mary just laughed and laughed, because she knew her father was in the barn.
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Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor. “Do you wash?” the doc asked the rank young girl. “Oh, yes,” Mary answered. “Each morning, I start at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then, I start at my feet and wash up as far up as possible.” “Well, then,” the doc concluded, “go home and wash possible.”
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How do you know when a female bartender is mad at you? There is a string in your Bloody Mary!
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Mary and Jack are girlfriend and boyfriend. One day they go one a walk. As they are walking, Mary stops and says,” Look there’s a nickel in the road. Jack says,”No, it’s a dime.” Mary insists that it is a nickel, so Jack goes out to investigate. Just as he steps into the road, a semi comes along and hits Jack, instantly killing him. Mary just laughs and laughs because she knew it was really a dime.
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Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to inclement weather she decided to top at a nice hotel for the night. She approached the front desk and requested a room. “Certainly, Madam”, the clerk replied. “Is the coffee shop still open?” she asked. “No, Madam, I’m sorry,” he replied, “but room service is available all night. Would you care to select dinner from this menu?” Mary graciously scanned the menu. “Yes, I think the cauliflower with cheese would be fine,…
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Sister Mary Jane, a nun from a convent a block away from Jack’s liquor store, walked in and said,”Oh Jack, give me a pint o’ the brandy.” “Sister Mary Jane,” exclaimed Jack, “I can’t do that! I’ve never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!” “Oh Jack,” she responded, “it’s only for the Mother Superior.” Her voice dropped, “It cures constipation, you know.” So Jack sold her the brandy. Later that night, Jack closed the store and walked home.…
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Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion School in an advanced state of agitation. “Father!” she cried, “just WAIT until you hear this!” The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, “Now just calm down and tell me what has you so excited.” “Well, Father,” the nun began, “I was just walking down the hall to the chapel, and I heard some of the older boys wagering money!” “A serious…
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In the winter of 1926, Thelma Goldstein from Chicago treated herself to her first real vacation in Florida. Being unfamiliar with the area, she wandered into a restricted hotel in North Miami. “Excuse me,” she said to the manager. “My name is Mrs. Goldstein, and I’d like a small room for two weeks.” “I’m awfully sorry,” he replied, “but all of our rooms are occupied.” Just as he said that, a man came down and checked out. “What luck,” said…
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One day in class, the math teacher Mrs. Brown noticed that Little Johnny was not paying attention to what she was saying. So she called Little Johnny to recite in class. “Little Johnny, answer this math question,” she said. “If you have 500 dollars and you gave 100 dollars to Susie and gave 100 dollars to Jeannie and gave 100 dollars to Mary Ann, what do you have ?” “An orgy,” answered Little Johnny.
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