Mary i Jokes - page 10

Piss Pot Pete (Limerick)

Here’s a nasty limerick: Miss Mary Brown said no man could lay her down, but over the hill came piss pot Pete with twenty pounds of swinging meat. He laid her on the grass and put it in her ass, but she blew a fart that knocked his balls apart Back over the hill went piss pot Peete with twenty pounds of shredded beef!

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Amazing Sense of Smell

It was past lunchtime when a man with a cane entered a small diner. When the diner owner handed him the menu, the customer said to the owner, “I’m sorry I can’t read your menu. I’m blind.” The owner apologized and asked what the customer wanted to eat. The blind man said, “Could me bring me a used spoon? I could tell what your special for the day is just by smelling the spoon.” Although the diner owner was skeptical…

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Nun’s Confession

The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret, and he tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional. She finally says, “Father, I never wear panties under my habit.” The priest chuckles and says, “That’s not so serious. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers, and do six carthwheels on your way to the altar.”

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Bottom of the Ninth

There was a strange performance at the LA Philarmonic the other day… It was Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, and it was dedicated to Sammy Sosa… He and his wife got a standing ovation as they took their front-row seats… As the orchestra began to play, the Base players, who don’t have any part until an hour into the Symphony, began to get bored…they held a whispered conversation, and decided to slip quietly out to the Lobby for a few drinks…so they…

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