Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
An elderly man was at home, upstairs dying in bed. He smelled the aroma of his favourite chocolate chip cookies baking. He wanted one last cookie before he died. He fell out of bed, crawled to the landing, rolled down the stairs and crawled into the kitchen where his wife, Mary, was busily baking cookies. With his last remaining strength, he crawled to the table and was just barely able to lift his withered arm to the cookie sheet. As…
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Mary is in a barn playing with matches when all of the sudden the barn catches on fire and burns to the ground. Mary goes inside to tell her mother. Her mother says,” Just wait until your father gets home!” Mary just laughed and laughed, because she knew her father was in the barn.
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Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor. “Do you wash?” the doc asked the rank young girl. “Oh, yes,” Mary answered. “Each morning, I start at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then, I start at my feet and wash up as far up as possible.” “Well, then,” the doc concluded, “go home and wash possible.”
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How do you know when a female bartender is mad at you? There is a string in your Bloody Mary!
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Mary and Jack are girlfriend and boyfriend. One day they go one a walk. As they are walking, Mary stops and says,” Look there’s a nickel in the road. Jack says,”No, it’s a dime.” Mary insists that it is a nickel, so Jack goes out to investigate. Just as he steps into the road, a semi comes along and hits Jack, instantly killing him. Mary just laughs and laughs because she knew it was really a dime.
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Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to inclement weather she decided to top at a nice hotel for the night. She approached the front desk and requested a room. “Certainly, Madam”, the clerk replied. “Is the coffee shop still open?” she asked. “No, Madam, I’m sorry,” he replied, “but room service is available all night. Would you care to select dinner from this menu?” Mary graciously scanned the menu. “Yes, I think the cauliflower with cheese would be fine,…
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Sister Mary Jane, a nun from a convent a block away from Jack’s liquor store, walked in and said,”Oh Jack, give me a pint o’ the brandy.” “Sister Mary Jane,” exclaimed Jack, “I can’t do that! I’ve never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!” “Oh Jack,” she responded, “it’s only for the Mother Superior.” Her voice dropped, “It cures constipation, you know.” So Jack sold her the brandy. Later that night, Jack closed the store and walked home.…
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A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.” So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He…
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A new priest saying mass for the first time was so nervous that he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done. The Monsignor told him that he appeared nervous but that he had some advice for him. He told the new priest that he always puts a glass of vodka next to the water glass. ?If I get nervous I drink from that glass? the Monsignor told the priest. The following Sunday the priest…
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Grammatical Uses of the Word Fuck Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word “FUCK.” It is the one magical word, which, just by it’s sound can describe Pain, Pleasure, Love and Hate. In language, “FUCK” falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an active verb (John really gives a fuck)…
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