Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A woman was sick of her husband’s drinking, and decided to teach him a lesson. She dressed up like Satan, and when her husband returned home from another bender, she jumped out from behind the couch and screamed. “You don’t scare me,” the man said, looking her over calmly. “I married your sister.”
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3 female potatoes are having a chat because they are all getting married in the morning. The first potatoe says she is getting hitched to a King Edward, and the others go ‘oohhh nice. He will be loaded , and he is royal too.’ The second potatoe says, ‘well I am getting married to a Jersey Royal- we will be living in a mansion it will be dead posh’. Then the third potatoes says she is going to gat married…
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For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he’d finally managed an affair with the innkeeper’s daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! “Helen, why didn’t you write when you learned you were pregnant?” he cried. “I would have rushed up here, we could have…
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A young man watched as an elderly couple sat down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the old gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, etc, until each had exactly half. Then the old man poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The…
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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” Alan, age 10 “No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.” Kirsten, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE…
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A man and woman were standing there getting married. The priest was talking. “Do you, John, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?” “I do,” said John. “And do you, Christina, take this man to be YOUR lawfully wedded wife?” “I do,” she replied. “And now, to forget old times and only move forward, break the glass which represents old times.” The priest places a piece of glass down. John steps on the glass, which makes a cool…
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The average cucumber is at least six inches long Cucumbers stay hard for a week A Cucumber won’t tell you that size doesn’t count Cucumbers don’t get too excited A Cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety Cucumbers are easy to pick up You can fondle Cucumbers in the supermarket…and you know how firm it is before you take one home Cucumbers can get away any weekend With a Cucumber you can get a single room…and you won’t have to check…
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Joe and Ken always hunt together, but Ken gets married and is forced to bring his new bride along. Ken tells his wife to straighten out the cabin and fix lunch while he and Joe look for a good spot to hunt deer. They arrive on top of this big cliff and proceed to look for the best spot for their treestand. Joe tells Ken he can see the cabin; Ken says never mind that look for a good spot.…
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Bernie was invited to his friend’s home for dinner. All night the host kept calling his wife by endearing terms like Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. Bernie looked at his friend and remarked, “That’s really nice, that after all the years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names.” The other man hung his head and whispered, “To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago.”
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Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she’ll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly after that they…
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