Married life Jokes - page 2

Congratulations

A young couple has been married five years but Debbie has been unable to get pregnant. Then, having missed her menstrual period for a second consecutive month, she visits her doctor who examines her and gives her the good news. “Congratualtions, Debbie,” he smiles, “You’re going to have a baby.” On the bus going home, Debbie is so happy that she is bursting to tell somebody. She glances at the friendly-looking man sitting beside her and says “Excuse me, sir,…

(4)Loading...

Read JokeCongratulations

Cards NOT made by Hallmark

Not likely to find these cards at your local Hallmark store…. “Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife.” “How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?” “I’ve always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I’ve changed my mind.” “I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you.” “Looking back over the years that we’ve been…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeCards NOT made by Hallmark

Elderly Spinsters Will

An elderly spinster called a lawyer’s office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office. The woman replied, “You must understand, I’ve lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don’t like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?” The receptionist checked…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeElderly Spinsters Will

Wedding Party

A minister was planning a short wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction, he had planned to call the couple down to be married before the congregation. For the life of him, though, he couldn’t think of the names of those two people! “Will those wanting to get married please come down to the front at this time?” he requested. Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWedding Party

Bad English

English in Non-English Speaking Countries! Examples of how English is being used in different parts of the world: In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In…

(6)Loading...

Read JokeBad English

Rest Room Signs

RESTROOM SIGNS Friends don’t let friends take home ugly men —Women’s restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE Remember, it’s not, “How high are you?” it’s “Hi, how are you?” —Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. —Men’s Room, Linda’s Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina To do is to be – Descartes To be is to do – Voltaire Do be…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeRest Room Signs

Guyness Quiz

Guyness Quiz Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient 1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to: a.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeGuyness Quiz

Sage Wisdom or the Ages

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. I intend to live forever – so far, so good. Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSage Wisdom or the Ages

Love Letter Code

This is a love letter from a boy to a girl…. However, the girl’s father does not like him and wants them stop the relationship…… Afraid that her father would intercept any messages, the boy wrote this letter to the little girl. 1 “The great love that I have for you 2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you 3 grows every day. When I see you, 4 I do not even like your face; 5 the one…

(5)Loading...

Read JokeLove Letter Code

On Second Thought

A young gay man calls up his mother to tell her that he is giving up being gay as he has met the woman who, he believes, is his soul mate. In fact he says, “We are so much in love that we plan to get married next month! That’s why I called you. I’m sure you will be happy to know that I have turned my back on the gay lifestyle.” “I am very happy indeed,” says his mother.…

(3)Loading...

Read JokeOn Second Thought