Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
You know it’s your last day at work when … You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, “What’s this?” you realize you just dropped the company’s deposit in a mailbox. A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, “I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one’s your turn”. Your boss is standing behind you. It’s his wife. You sneak into your boss’ office and look at some…
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One morning, the owner of a diner gathers all four of his employees and tells them, “Business has been so bad these days that I am forced to fire one of you.” The black dishwasher is the first to speak up, “Well, I’m the only black around here and you wouldn’t want to get into that.” The pregnant waitress warns, “As the only woman in your employment, I can sue you for sexual discrimination.” Crossing his arms, the old cook…
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TO: ALL EMPLOYEES FROM: Human Resources It has been brought to Management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of preferred new phrases…
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A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, “I’ll have a C monkey please.” The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, “That’ll be $5000.” The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist…
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I’m glad I’m a man, you better believe. I don’t live off of yogurt, diet Coke, or cottage cheese. I don’t bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts. I can get where I want to – north, south, east or west. I don’t get wasted after only 2 beers, and when I do drink I don’t end up in tears. I won’t spend hours deciding what to wear. I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair. And…
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Sage Advice on Winning the Man of Your Dreams Many women are under the impression that if they are attractive, conscientious and treat a guy really well, they have a chance of winning their guy. But let’s be honest: has this ever really worked for you? Probably not. There’s a much more effective method. It may seem insane, but it works! To capture the man of your dreams, this is what you must do: 1) Act like you really, really…
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Q: How many Marines does it take to change a light bulb? A: Eight: three to think of a plan-of-action, four to supervise, and one to do all of the work. This joke/true story was submitted by a Navy Hospital Corpsman who is currently serving with the Marine Corps and sees this happen everyday…
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“How to Keep the Wackiness Alive in the Modern Workplace, Part I” ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document. Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but you didn’t have time for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during he meeting. During the meeting, eat 5 entire raw potatoes. Insist that your e-mail address be “[email protected]” Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him/her…
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A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of bitches who want to get off, get the hell off now, because this is the last stop. And all of you sons of bitches that are getting on, get your asses in the train cause were leaving”. The mother…
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1. It’s an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communication. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter. 8. It encourages carpooling. 9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don’t care.…
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