Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
“EVERYTHING COMES IN THREES” Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when three “ones” come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way, in medieval times it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern. “YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU (When you die)” Well….., that depends on what it is. If it’s your dark blue suit, you can certainly…
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Once upon a time, there were two canaries in a cage. Naturally, one was male and the other female. After many months, the male decided to meet the female. So he scooted over to her side of the cage and said, “Since we’re in this together, why don’t I move over to your side of the cage!” The female canary replied, “No thanks!!” So he went back to his side, but found he could stay there no longer. Once again,…
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Three chinese were being interviewed to get into heaven. St. Peter asks them, “Tell me what you know about Easter.” The 1st Guy says, “Easter wary big howaday, kids dress up funny, go to neighbor and get candy.” “NO NO, that’s halloween.” The 2nd Guy says, “Easter wary big howaday, family all get together, have big turkey dinner.” “NO NO NO, you’re also confused, that’s Thanksgiving.” The 3rd Guy says, “Easter we celebrate Jesus, how he die for us on…
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A woman was looking for a room to stay at. She went to the nearest house and knocked on the door. When the owner of the house answered, the woman asked, “Do you have a room I can stay at tonight?” The man said, “Yeah, but you’ve got to sleep with my retarded son.” She said, “No, thanks anyways.” She went to the next house. When the owners answered the door, she asked for a room. They said, “Okay, but…
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Man: “Haven’t we met before?” Woman: “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.” Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?” Woman: “Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.” Man: “So, wanna go back to my place?” Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?” Man: “Your place or mine?” Woman: “Both. You go to your place and I’ll go to mine.” Man: “I’d really like to get into your pants.” Woman: “No thanks. There’s…
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The parents of a newborn son were devastated to learn that their baby was born with a golden screw in his navel. Surgeons had never seen this before, and fearing it would harm the boy, refused to operate. The parents were very religious and accepted the birth defect as God’s will. The mother never gave up faith, and as her son grew up she prayed daily for God to cure him. The boy was very shy, always hiding his golden-screw…
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Veteran Pillsbury spokesmodel “Pop n’ Fresh” died last week at age 71 due to a severe yeast infection. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies. The gravesite was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima gave the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who “never knew how much he was kneaded.” Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers.…
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A panda is walking down the Main Street when he is approached by a “Lady of the Night”. She says, “Hello darling, would you like a nice time?” The Panda says, “Um, yes why not?” So they both go back to the lady’s apartment. She makes a fabulous dinner, with every dish imaginable, provides drinks, plays good music. The inevitable happens. They go to bed and have a really great night. In the morning the Panda gets up, has a…
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Exhausted from driving, the traveling salesman stopped in this one town and pulled over to get an hour or two of sleep. But, as luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be one of the streets that the majority of the town’s people used to take their daily run. The salesman had barely pulled over and gotten comfortable when a jogger was knocking on his window, asking, “Excuse me, but do you have the time?” The…
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“I don’t want nations feeling like that they can bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a ballistic defense system so that we can make the world more peaceful, and at the same time I want to reduce our own nuclear capacities to the level commiserate with keeping the peace.” ?Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 23, 2000 “Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.”?LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000 “If I’m the president, we’re going to…
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