Man hom Jokes - page 3

Salesman’s Day

The dildo salesman walked up to the door of a beautiful white woman and knocked. He showed her the dildos in his case and she purchased a large black one. At the next home he was greeted by a beautiful black woman who, after looking over the dildos in his case, purchased a large white one. At the third door he knocked and a beautiful blonde came to the door. She looked in his case and said, “Oh, I’ll take…

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man in a bar

One day a guy walks into a bar sits down and orders two shots of scotch. He drinks the shots pulls a picture out of his pocket and says, “Bar tender, two more shots please!” He drinks the shots and again pulls the picture out of his pocket. “Bar tender, two more shots please!” The Bar tender asks him, “Why do you keep ordering two shots and then look at the picture in your pocket?” “The picture is of my…

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Home Economics – Then and Now

The following is from an ACTUAL 1950’s Home Economics textbook for High School girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life. 1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal – on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the propects of a good meal are part of the…

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Clinton’s New Home

Recently, a radio talk show host in Portland, Ore., asked her audience to come up with an official name for the new Clinton $1.7 million house in Chappaqua, New York. Her call-in contest required the names to be in relatively good taste, original, and should capture the essence of one or both of the Clintons. The response was overwhelming! Some names nominated for the Clinton’s new home included: Perjurers’ Palace HillBilly Villa The House of Bill’s Repute Drawers Downs Cheatem…

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Sage Advice on Winning the Man of Your Dreams

Sage Advice on Winning the Man of Your Dreams Many women are under the impression that if they are attractive, conscientious and treat a guy really well, they have a chance of winning their guy. But let’s be honest: has this ever really worked for you? Probably not. There’s a much more effective method. It may seem insane, but it works! To capture the man of your dreams, this is what you must do: 1) Act like you really, really…

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In my Hometown

The best thing about moving back to my hometown was seeing so many familiar faces. One day, in the grocery store, I recognized a man who had been a good friend of my parents. He noticed me staring, so I quickly introduced myself as John and Helen’s daughter. “Helen’s daughter!” he exclaimed. “Oh, such a beautiful lady!” He called to his wife,”Martha, come and see Helen’s daughter. You remember Helen–such a beautiful lady.” “Oh, yes,” Martha replied. “She was always…

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The Memory Man

A foreigner was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the hills of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face. “Who’s he?” said the foreigner. “That’s the Memory Man.” said the bartender. “He knows everything. He can remember any fact. Go and try him out.” So the foreigner goes over, and thinking he won’t know…

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Pictures mailed home

A man at a nudist camp got a letter from his mother asking for a picture. Since the only pictures he had were taken in the nude, he cut one in half and mailed her the part showing him only from the waist up. His mom wrote back after receiving the photograph and said, “Thanks for the picture. Can your grandma have one too?” The guy thought, “Since grandma can’t see well, I’ll just give her the bottom half,” and…

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Homeless Ransacker

An elderly gentleman came home one night to find a homeless girl of about eighteen ransacking the place. He grabbed her by the arm and was just about to call the police, when the girl dropped down on her knees and pleaded, “Please don’t call the police, Mister. Oh, please!!! If you don’t, I’ll let you make love to me and do whatever you want with my body!” The old man thought for a moment and decided to give in.…

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Money Man

There’s a man who makes money but does not spend it. So he goes home to his wife and says “I saved $5.00 by chasing a bus and not riding it.” So the wife says “You retard you could have saved $15.00 by chasing a taxi not a cheap old bus!”

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