Madam madam Jokes - page 3

A guy is strolling down the street in Chicago where he comes across an old lamp. He picks it up, rubs it vigorously, and out pops a genie. The genie offers to grant him one wish, to which the guy replies “I’ve always wanted to be lucky.” The genie grants his wish. So off the guy strolls, wondering how this will change his life, when he spies 10 dollars on the sidewalk. Not a bad start he thinks. As he…

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Mrs. Morris Siegel beckoned to a salesman in Bergdorf Goodman’s, pointed to a white wool designer dress on a mannequin, and said, “Hey, Sonny Boy, so how much is the dress on that store dummy over there?” “That dress is $899.95, Madam,” sneered the rather snotty salesman. “Oy! For $99.95, I could get the same dress at S. Klein’s downtown!” “But, Madam,” said the salesman, “You’ll find that the dress at Klein’s is recycled wool. This original is 100% pure…

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DID YOU EVER HEAR THE EXPRESSION: YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING? THIS IS HOW IT ORIGINATED: George Washington was traveling with his troops at Valley Forge. They were cold, hungry and tired. One of the soldiers asks General Washington when they can stop to get some food and rest. Washington tells them he’ll stop at the next house he sees. At the house, he knocks on the door and asks the lady if she can give his men food and…

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One day, a well-to-do lady was walking home and met an old beggar on the street. “Madame,” said the beggar, leaning over to pick up a rock from the side of the road, “I will eat this rock for your enjoyment.” Well, the lady had never seen a man eat a rock before, so she agreed. “First,” said the man, “I will need to cook it.” The lady agreed and took the man to her home, where she showed him…

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Washington and his men had just finished a big battle and were tired and wounded. They were walking for miles looking for a place to stay when they came upon this very small broken down shack. Washington asked the the man who answered the door if he had room to help some of his men as they were tired and sick. The man said, “As you can see, I only have room for one man.” So Washington picked out his…

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One evening, Charlie was feeling pretty light-headed from a couple of boilermakers when he rang the bell of the most expensive cat-house in town. “How ya doin’”, he said when the madam answered the door. “I want your mos’ adventurous girl.” The madam ushered him inside and sat him down. “You have to be a little more specific”, she said. “What do you mean by ‘adventurous’?” “Well when I’ve had a couple a lil drinks, sometimes I have a tough…

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A woman goes to a pet store to buy a parrot, the man at the pet store said “I got to tell you this parrot was raised in a house of ill repute, so you might hear some bad words.” She said, “That’s OK, I’ll take him.” So she goes home and puts him in a cage. When the parrot arrives, he looks around and says, “New home, New madam.” Later when her two teenage daughters came home, the parrot…

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In the garden of Eden stood Adam Stroking the quiff of his madam And he quivered with mirth For he knew that on earth There were only two balls and he had em

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