Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There were two Jewish woman (Ruth and Golda) walking along the street. Ruth says to Golda, “My son, Irving, is finally getting married. He tells me he is engaged to a wonderful girl, but he thinks she may have a disease called herpes.” Golda says to Ruth, “Do you have any idea what this herpes is and can he catch it?” Ruth answers, “No, but I am so thrilled to hear about Irving’s engagement. It’s past time he’s settled. As…
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Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. As a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down, also knocking the snake about quite a bit. “Oh, my,” said the bunny. “I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. You see, I’ve been…
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A guy was driving his car down an old country road, when he ran right into a big mud hole and got his car stuck. Just so happens a farmer comes along on his tractor and says,” Hey stranger, I’ll pull you out for $20.00.” Well the guy had no choice, so he motioned to the farmer to go ahead. After the farmer had pulled the car out and had it on dry ground again, the guy says, “For as…
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We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden delusional and other liberal, commie, pinko bedwetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that a whole…
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[Note: this joke is better told than read] As Veteran’s Day approached, a Minnesota pastor decided it would be a good idea to have members of his congregation speak about their wartime activities. After a little research, he discovered that one of his parishioners was a fighter pilot for Norway. He asked the man to speak to the congregation, and the old pilot reluctantly agreed. After starting slowly, the old flyer warmed to the task. “Ja, I vas a Norvegian…
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There was this Christian lady who had to do a lot of traveling for her business, so she did a lot of flying. Flying made her nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her. One time on an airplane, she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and went back to what he was doing. After awhile, he turned…
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The new preacher, at his very first service, had a large pitcher of water and a glass on the pulpit. By the time he had made it through his long-winded sermon, he had finished off the entire pitcher of water. After the sermon, an old woman approached the new preacher. “Young man,” she exclaimed, “you’re the first windmill I’ve seen that’s powered by water!”
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There once was a blonde, brunette and a red head. They were all stranded on a deserted island. One day they were all walking along the beach when they came across a lamp. They decided to rub it hoping a genie would appear and grant them three wishes. So they rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared saying to them, “I shall grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, you can all have one wish each.”…
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A guy once had a parrot that had a very dirty mouth. He would bring a date home and the parrot would squawk, “Somebody’s gonna get screwed!” Of course, the girls would get mad and leave. This went on for about 3 or 4 weeks, until finally he got so frustrated that he went back to the pet store where he had purchased the bird. He asked the pet store owner how to stop his parrot from scaring away his…
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IF OPERATING SYSTEMS RAN THE AIRLINES – by J. Hovind UNIX Airways Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about WHAT kind of plane they are supposed to be building. Air DOS Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they…
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