Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
How do you confuse a blonde boy? You put him in a circular room and tell him to pee in the corner. Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm. Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies? Because the sign said, “Seventeen and under not admitted.” What do you call a blonde holding a dollar over her head All you can eat under a buck A dumb blonde and a smart blonde jump off of a roof.…
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A disabled swimming class is currently on at a swimming pool and a group of cripples are crowding round the pool. “I’ll bet I can swim two lengths in a minute,” says a man with one arm. He jumps in and swims the two lengths in just under one minute. “That’s nothing, I can do it less than that,” says a man with no arms. He jumps in and struggles through the two lengths in a better time to the…
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A professor was walking along a very narrow lane when he came face to face with a rival professor. The lane was too narrow for both of them to pass at the same time. The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said haughtily: “I never make way for fools!” Smiling, the professor stepped aside and said, “I always do.”
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Shit may just be the most powerful word in the English language. You can be shit faced, shit out of luck, or have shit for brains With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit or decide to shit or get off the pot. You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit and die. Some people know their shit while others…
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Now that Barbie is nearing 40, we’ve created new dolls that more realistically reflect her current life-style. 1. Bifocals Barbie: Includes her own set of blended lens fashion frames in 6 wild colors. Includes neck chain and large print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living. 2. Hot Flash Barbie: Press Barbie’s bellybutton and see her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead and upper lip. Complete with tiny tissues. 3. Facial Hair Barbie:…
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Day 1. Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to reenact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried. Wussy. Day 2. Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He’s impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn’t he tell me something I don’t know! I mean, gimme a break. He’s been dysfunctional for so long that he…
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Wife: Oh, Baby, I’m soooooooo hot. Husband: Go to sleep, Honey, I have to get up early. Wife: It won’t take long. Husband: It’ll wake me up. I won’t be able to sleep afterwards. Wife: I won’t sleep without it. Husband: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? Wife: Because I’m hot, Sweetie. Husband: Geez, you get hot at the darndest times. Wife: If you loved me, I wouldn’t have to beg. Husband:…
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There were three blondes walking along the beach. While they were walking, they find a geenie. The geenie says that they can each have one wish. The first blonde wishes to be a thousand times smarter, so her hair turns light brown and she becomes a brain surgeon. the secound one wishes to be a million times smarter and her hair gets a really dark brown and she finds a cure for cancer. The third blonde wishes to be a…
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Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur?s youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed. The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the…
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A voluptuous blonde was short on cash and came up with a plan to make some money. She decided to go into some local bars and bet some of the patrons that she had a better poem/rhyme than anything they could come up with. (As long as it was a poem/rhyme also). The only problem was she didn’t have enough money for the kind of bet she wanted to make and therefore provided the condition that if they won she…
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