Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The Nice Guy 1. How do you typically look when you arrive to pick up your date? A. I wear my church clothes B. I like to dress up. Sometimes I bring a small present or flowers C. I dress casually unless I am very impressed with the woman D. I’m late, dress as I want, and if I bring anything it’s a sixpack of beer E. I take a knife 2.”Women are special.” Is this statement true? A. Yes,…
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YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…
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There once was a poor lad named Timmy who had the misfortune of being born with only a head — no arms, no legs, nothing but a head. Now Timmy was a basically happy person and he was loved and cared for by his family. As long as he stayed within the shelter of his family he was unworried by his condition, but as soon as he was thrust out into the world he knew that something was seriously wrong.…
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Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make their announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…” “We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wings.” “Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person…
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“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “Let’s take your car.” Really means…. “Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.” “Woman driver.” Really means…. “Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me.” “I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”…
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Dear Tech Support: Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower, and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SundayFootball…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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A boy was born blind and all he ever wanted was to be able to see. When he was about 8 yers old he told his mother of his wish. “Well son, this is your lucky day. Today is the last day of March and if you pray REALLY hard all night long then God will answer your prayer.” So that night the boy went to bed extra early and he prayed until he fell asleep. He awoke halfway through…
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1. Connection – Heh… what connection? 2. Complicated – Once you finally connect to the Internet (see #1), the thing that they don’t tell you when you get the Internet is how impossible it is to use if you have never used it before. They all think it is sooo easy, and I probably would think it was easy too if I programmed it. If you are dedicated enough to actually try to figure it out, that is close to…
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Everyday I give thanks to the Goddess I have two mounds upon my bodice I shave my legs, sit down to pee – Can justify any shopping spree Don’t go to a barber, but a beauty salon Can get a massage without a hard-on I can balance my checkbook, can pump my own gas Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass My beauty’s a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long. At least I can admit to…
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