Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Part of my friend’s job as a technical writer is to help produce the company newsletter which goes to their clients. He was asked to come up with a list (ala Letterman’s Top Ten List) of funny things one can do with Thanksgiving leftovers. He applied my head-bone to the problem for an hour and we came up with this list. Seal them in concrete and call it a time capsule. Send it to the Smithsonian with instructions to open…
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How about never? Is never good for you? I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. I like you. You remind me of when I was…
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The principal of a middle school had a problem with some girls who were starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would blot their lips on the mirrors, leaving lip prints. Before it got out of hand, he thought of a way to stop it. One day he gathered together all the girls who wore lipstick. He then took them into the bathroom and lectured about how hard it was to clean the lipstick off the…
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About eight years ago there was a kid named bort. He had no friends and wasn’t very smart. His teacher, along with the principal knew how dumb he really was. Instead of giving him a lot of homework like the rest of the kids, his teacher told him to go home and think of three words to tell his teacher the next day. He went home and watched T.V when he was watching T.V he decided to start his home…
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Suzie had a crush on Mikey since she was 15 years old. Mikey never paid Suzie any attention. Every year Suzie would try to get Mikey to notice her but he just wasn’t interested. Finally, when Suzie turned 18, she began to come of age, and sure enough, Mikey noticed. Suzie looked so pretty and grown-up that Mikey asked her for a date on a Friday night!! She was so excited all that week that she could hardly wait for…
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Eight Rules to Follow when Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure as heck not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule…
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Guyness Quiz Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient 1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to: a.…
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1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is. 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. 3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter…
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Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him. He inquired of God, “Where were you?” God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds. “Look son, look what I’ve made”. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?” God replied, “It’s a planet and I’ve put LIFE on it. I’ve named it Earth and there is a balance between everything on…
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ACURA -Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile AMC -All Makes Combined AMC -A Major Cost AMC -A Mutated Car AMC -A Moron’s Car AMC -Another Major Catastrophe AUDI -Accelerates Under Demonic Influence AUDI -All Unsafe Designs Implemented AUDI -Another Ugly Duetsche Invention AUDI -Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence AUDI -Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc. BMW -Babbling Mechanical Wench BMW -Beastly Monsterous Wonder BMW -Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels BMW -Beautiful Mechanical Wonder BMW -Barely Moving Wreck BMW -Big Money Waste BMW -Big Money. Why?…
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