Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until the priest, overcome with curiosity, approached her. “Sister, I couldn’t help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,” he stated. “Why, yes,” she replied, “every week my son sends me money, and what I don’t need, I give to the church.” “That’s wonderful. How much does he send you?” “Oh, $2,000 a week.” “Your son is very…
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Father Brown was walking on the grounds of the convent when he noticed Sister Jane walking by. He thought, “Sister Jane seems to be heavier now.” So he called out to her, “Sister Jane, aren’t we gaining some weight?” “Oh, no, Father,” said Sister Jane. “Just a little gas. That’s all.” Two months later, Father Brown again noticed that Sister Jane seemed to be much larger than the last time he saw her. So he approached her and remarked, “Sister…
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Little Jack Horner Sat in a corner Eating his sister Mary. He stuck in his thumb And pulled out a plum And said, “Where the fuck is her cherry?
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A two year old girl was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist. The girl kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mother was resting, her eyes closed. With about six other patients waiting, the little girl marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder. “Mommy,” she yelled, “Wake up! This is not church!”
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Dear Son, I’m writing this slow ’cause I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you first left. Your Dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you the address as the last family here took the numbers with them for their next house, so they wouldn’t have to change their address. This place has a washing machine. The first…
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Little known state mottos: Alabama: “Segregation now, Segregation Forever!” Alaska: “Land of 11,623 drunken Eskimos” Arizona: “It’s not the heat….” Arkansas: “Litterasy Ain’t Everything” California: “Land of the ‘Quakers’.” Colorado: “If you don’t ski, don’t come.” Connecticut: “Home of the ‘term life’ policy.” Delaware: “Home of prison floggings and an age 7 ‘consent law’.” Florida: “Ask Us About Our Grandkids.” Georgia: “Going to church? Bring your own snake.” Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru (“If you’ve got the money,…
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“Sister Ann, aren’t you putting on a little weight?” inquired Father Dan during his visit to the convent, suspiciously eyeing her bulging stomach. “Why, no, Father,” answered the nun, demurely. “It’s just a little gas.” A few months later, Father Dan put the same question to the nun, noticing her habit barely fitting across her belly. “Oh, just a bit of gas,” said Sister Ann, blushing a bit. On his next visit, Father Dan was walking down the corridor when…
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six-year-olds. After explaining the Commandment to “honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest in his family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”
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My grandson was telling me that he and his three playmates attended different churches. Then he added, “It really doesn’t matter if we go to different churches, does it, Grandma, as long as we’re all Republicans?” A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, “No, I’m the lonely child.” My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally…
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The 3rd grade school teacher says,” O.K. everybody, the word for today is fascinate, and you have to come up with a sentence using that word.” Little Cindy raises her hand and says,”I went to the zoo on Friday, and it was fascinating.” The teacher says, “That’s nice but we want to use fascinate, not fascinating.” Larry raises his hand and says,”I went to a movie Saturday and I was fascinated.” The teacher says,”That’s nice too, but we want to…
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