Little dog Jokes - page 2

Dog Gone!

Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date’s door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said. “I’ll be ready in a few minutes,” she said. “Why don’t you play with my dog Rollo while you are waiting? He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands and sits up, and if you make a hoop with your arms, he’ll jump through.” The dog followed Paul onto…

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Little Johnny’s Christmas

Little Johnnie Christmas – Little Johnnie had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do? The shrink said, “Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnnie what he wants Santa to bring him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of the gift or gifts he requests.” Two days before Christmas, Johnny’s father asked him what…

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Dog in Heat

This little girl Susie comes home from school and asks her mom if she can take the dog for a walk. Her mom says “No, Rover is in heat!” Susie asks her mom what that means. “Susie go ask your dad!” She goes out to the garage and asks her father the same question. Her father says, “Give me the dog for a moment.” He pours gas on its butt. Then, he tells Susie, “You can take Rover for a…

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The Amazing Dog!

A young boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him. “Hmmmm,” he wonders, “How am I gonna get more dough?” Then he gets an idea. He calls his father. “Dad,” he says, “you won’t believe the wonders that modern education is coming up with! Why, they have a program here that will teach Fido how to talk!” “That’s absolutely amazing!” his father says. “How do I…

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beware of dog

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying: “DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!” posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, “Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” “Yep, that’s him,” he replied. The stranger couldn’t help but be amused. “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you…

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Little Old Lady goes Shopping

A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the checkout counter, where she told the checkout girl, “Nothing but the best for my little kitten.” The girl at the cash register said, “I’m sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you…

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Merry Christmas, Little Johnny

One day Little Johnny’s dad went to a psychiatrist and the psychiatrist said every time Johnny swore, the father should put a dog shit in place of one of his presents. So when Johnny’s dad got home, he asked his son, “Johnny, what do ya want for Christmas?” Little Johnny said, “I want to wake up with a great fucking teddy bear next to me. And a great fucking train set around the Christmas tree. And when I go outside…

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Dog Bath

Little Johnny walked into a grocery store and selected a large box of laundry detergent and took it to the counter. The clerk said, “You must have a large load of clothes to wash.” “Oh no,” said Johnny, “I’m going to give my dog a bath.” “I don’t think that is the right soap to use to bathe your dog,” said the clerk. “It’ll do,” said Johnny, as he paid the clerk and walked out. A few days later Johnny…

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