Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that’s more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps outward to squirt blood 30 feet. A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (Lucky Pig!) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still not over that pig thing!) Humans, whales and dolphins are the only species that have sex for…
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A gorilla is walking through the jungle. He parts the bushes by the watering hole and sees a lion taking a drink of water with his butt sticking up in the air. The gorilla thinks to himself that it would be really funny if he snuck up behind this “King of the Jungle” and slipped him the old sausage. So the gorilla sneaks up on his tiptoes behind the lion, grabs him by the hips and starts pumping him in…
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YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…
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After going through Lamaze, Leboyer, and LeLeche classes with his expectant wife, the proud new father remained by her beside throughout the labor and delivery. Wanting to be as sympathetic as possible, he took his wife’s hand afterward and said, emotionally, “Tell me how it was, Darling, how it actually felt to give birth.” “OK, Honey,” his wife replied. “Smile as big as you can.” Beaming down at his wife and child, the man followed her instructions. “That’s not hard.”…
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One day two guys in a truck were driving down the road and their were 2 Amish men behind them. The passenger of the truck says, “I gotta take a crap.” The driver says, “You just did back at the truck stop!” The passenger sticks his butt out the window and takes a crap! The crap lands on one of the Amish men. The other one said, “What kind of chewing tobacco did that guy spit on you?” He said,…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, “Say, Father, what causes arthritis?” “Mister, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too…
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While undressing for bed one night, good ole Bill notices something like a red rash around his you know what. Alarmed, he thinks, “I can’t let Hillary see this!” He makes an appointment to see his doctor at Bethesda Naval Hospital, the very next day. “Doc,” he says, “I’ve got this red ring around my, you know. What is it and how do I get rid of it?” The doctor says, “Well, I’m not exactly sure what it is, but…
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You receive a $300 bill from your tree surgeon and you live in an apartment. The plumber tells you it would be cheaper to install a diving board than to drain the cellar. You bear a striking resemblance to this week’s prime suspect on America’s Most Wanted. The Dialing for Dollars host quizzes you about the only John Wayne film you haven’t seen. Your heart medication has been replaced with sugar pills and a note that says “April fools!” You…
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Why do blondes wear red lipstick? Because it means ‘stop! wrong hole’
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