Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There was a man driving when he spotted a policeman. He turned to his wife and said, “Quick! Grab the steering wheel while I get my seatbelt on!” The policeman approaches the car. The policeman says, “I know you weren’t wearing your seatbelt!” The man replies, “Yes I was– ask my wife!” The policeman says, “Well, ma’am?” His wife replies, “After all these years, I’ve learned one thing… not to argue with him when he’s drunk!”
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Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to leave Italy. There was, of course, a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with a leader of the Jewish community. If the Jewish leader won the debate, the Jews would be permitted to stay in Italy. If the Pope won, the Jews would have to leave. The Jewish community met and picked an aged Rabbi, Moishe,…
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The three greatest swordsmen were in a heated contest. The final challenge was to slice a fly released from a box. The first swordsman quickly sliced the fly in half. The second, not to be outdone, sliced the fly in thirds. The third contender apparently missed the fly, as it dropped down in the air and then flew away. A judge asked the third swordsman, “Why did you miss?” He replied, “I did not miss, Sir. That fly will no…
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A truck driver walked into a bar and noticed a sign on the door saying “no Nerds allowed!” He asked the waiter why such a thing was written and the man replied, “It’s Nerd season and you’re allowed to shoot freely.” The truck driver left the bar driving his truck full of computers along a dirt road. He went over a pothole and all the computers fell out. As soon as he got out of his truck there were 10,11,12…
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Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked “intellectual leadership”. He received a $26 million severance package. With a Little Help from Our Friends! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up… …And What Was…
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A drunk man was casually taking a leak into a drinking fountain in the park. A police officer came up to him and yelled, franctially, “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING? THERE IS A PUBLIC TOILET 20 FEET FROM HERE!” The drunk, amazed, yells back, “WHAT DO YOU THINK I HAVE HERE, A HOSE?!”
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Things you shouldn’t say to a cop Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. And that hooker I met at the AIDS clinic said you were a nice guy. Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125mph to keep up with me! Good job! That uniform makes your ass look really big. Excuse me. Is “stick up” hyphenated? I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer. You don’t happen…
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The newspaper article reads: Police were called to the scene of a museum robbery where a masked bandit stole priceless works of art. The suspect was apprehended just 2 blocks away. When he was questioned by police they asked how could someone break through the security system with such ease and be caught just 2 blocks away. The suspect simply replied….”I had no ‘Monet’ for gas to make the ‘Van-Gogh’…….”
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An elderly gentleman came home one night to find a homeless girl of about eighteen ransacking the place. He grabbed her by the arm and was just about to call the police, when the girl dropped down on her knees and pleaded, “Please don’t call the police, Mister. Oh, please!!! If you don’t, I’ll let you make love to me and do whatever you want with my body!” The old man thought for a moment and decided to give in.…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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