Left leg Jokes - page 3

Who’s Zooming Who?

While playing poker with his buddies at the home of his friend Eddie one Sunday evening, Dan happened to drop a dollar bill to the floor. As he bent down to pick up the dollar bill under the poker table, he happened to look directly at the shapely legs of Eddie’s wife, Mona, who was seated on a chair near the poker table. Sensing that Dan was staring at her legs, Mona slyly parted her legs revealing that she was…

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Stand By Me

A very busy corporate lawyer was called out of an important meeting to the bedside of an extremely wealthy widow who was one of the firm’s most prestigious clients. She was also well-known for her devoted Christian faith. The lawyer was ushered into the bedroom of the widow and asked, “What can I do for you, Mrs. Warbucks?” “Just come and stand beside my bed,” she said while lying in bed. The lawyer did as he was told. A few…

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A-Z on men

1. Men are like department stores…. their clothes should always be half off. 2. Men are like vacations…. they never seem to be long enough. 3. Men are like computers… hard to figure out and never have enough memory. 4. Men are like coolers… load them with beer and you can take them anywhere. 5. Men are like chocolate bars…. sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips. 6. Men are like coffee…. the best ones are rich,…

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ya mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo mamma — THE LIST YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll…

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‘Schultz is dead!’

A man was walking through the park when he noticed a woman crying her heart out. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Schultz is dead! Schultz is dead! Boo hoo hoo!” the woman sobbed. Since he did not know who Schultz was, the man moved on. Then he came upon another woman crying. “Schultz is dead!” wailed this woman. The man just went on his way. Along the way, he met another woman crying. Then another. And another. And another. All of…

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yo mama

YO MOMMA SO STUPID… Yo momma so stupid, she studied for a drug test! Yo momma so stupid, she thought, “Wu Tang” was an African orange drink! Yo momma so stupid she hears it’s chilly outside so she gets a bowl. Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order! Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! Yo momma…

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Bob and Larry

Bob and Larry were out chopping wood one day. As they were chopping, Bob slipped and cut off his arm. Picking it up and placing it in a bag, Bob and Larry went to the Doctor. The Doctor looked at the situation and stated, “This should not be a problem. Reatatching an arm is easy. Larry come back in an hour.” So Larry left too chop some more wood. Thirty minutes later he went back to the Doctor, who told…

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Bathroom Extrication

A young Jewish couple had only recently set up housekeeping when an unfortunate incident occurred. Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from sleep, went to the bathroom and neglected to notice that the seat had been left up. When she sat, she kept going! She was just the right size and shape so that she became jammed into the toilet past her waist with her legs sticking straight up in front of her. She cried for her husband, who rushed…

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Who’s the Moron?

One day a man named Olaf walks into the office of a headhunter and says, “I WON A DOB!” The headhunter looks up over the top of his glasses and says, “Excuse me?” Once again the man says, “I WON A DOB!” “Oh,” the headhunter says. “You want a job, I see…what is it you do?” The man says, “I’m a Diesel Fitter.” With this the headhunter turns on his laptop and types vigorously to search his computer files in…

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Maria’s Wedding Night

The Italian virgin Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother’s house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her: “Don’t worry, Maria. Tony’s a good man. Go upstairs and he’ll take care of you.” So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, “Mama, Mama, Tony’s…

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