Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man shopping in a supermarket brought his purchase of two cans of dog food to the checkout counter. The cashier asked, “Sir, do you have a dog?” “Yes.” replied the man. “Well, where is it?” asked the cashier. “I left him home.” he answered. “Sorry,” the cashier said, “You can’t buy the dog food if I can’t see the dog. That’s the rules.” The next day he returned to the store and brought some cat food to the checkout.…
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The State of Florida had a problem. The drug busts over the years had filled their storage areas with marijuana. It was decided that their only option was to burn all of the marijuana on hand. On that eventful day, a huge mound of marijuana was torched. The fire raged, and the smoke of the weed lifted in a large cloud. Just at this time, a flock of terns flew though this cloud. A group of forest rangers (aka their…
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There is this cop who is running low on his quota for the month and decides to check out one of the rowdier bars in town to catch some drunks. So, he’s waiting outside when about closing time this guy walks out, staggering, and falls down on the sidewalk. The cop is thinking, “boy, he’s drunk, this will be a good arrest.” The drunk guy crawls to his car, fiddles with his keys for about 30 minutes until he finds…
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1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they?re heading for the cafeteria. People with the newspaper in their hands look like they?re heading for the bathroom. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.…
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On one BAD day, 1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale. 2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his…
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Every “Hormone Hostage” knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. Here are helpful hints: DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner? SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner? DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT? SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown. SAFEST: Wow! Look at you! DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about? SAFER:…
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Q What do men and beer bottles have in common? A They’re both empty from the neck up. Q How many guys does it take to put the toilet seat down? A Don’t know. It’s never happened. Q How are men like parking spaces? A The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped.
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Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. “You know, Honey,” I said sweetly, “without your glasses, you look like the same handsome, young man I married.” “Honey,” he replied with a grin, “without my glasses, you still look pretty good, too!”
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For you ladies (and men so you’re prepared), a little MEN ARE LIKE humor: MEN ARE LIKE… Floor Tiles, if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years. MEN ARE LIKE… Bank Accounts, without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest. MEN ARE LIKE… Blenders, you need one, but you’re not quite sure why. MEN ARE LIKE… Chocolate Bars, sweet, smooth and they usually head right to your hips. MEN ARE…
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A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable…
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