Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day this man walked into a lawyer’s office he asks the lawyer, “What’s your rate, sir?” The lawyer replies, “?2000 for three questions.” Surprised, the man asks, “Isn’t that a bit steep?” The lawyer goes, “Yes, it is… and what’s your third question?”
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Q: What happens when a lawyer is covered up to his neck in sand? A: It means you don’t have enough sand.
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At a convention of biological scientists’ one researcher remarks to another, “Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?” “Really?” the other replied, “Why did you switch?” “Well, for three reasons. First we found that lawyers are far more plentiful, second, the lab assistants don’t get so attached to them, and thirdly there are some things even a rat won’t do. However, sometimes it very hard to extrapolate our test results…
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Q. How many lawyers does it take to roof a house? A. Depends on how thin you slice them. Q. Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? A. Professional courtesy. Q. Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor? A. No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print. Q. How do you know when your divorce is getting ugly? A. When your lawyer doesn’t seem like a bloodsucking leech anymore. Q. What do you call an honest lawyer?…
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An attorney had just finished a consultation with an elderly, nearly blind widow, for which he charged her $100. The widow opened her purse and removed a $100 bill. When the lawyer accepted it, he noticed there was another $100 bill stuck to it. Immediately the lawyer’s keen legal mind realized he was faced with a vital ethical question: Should he tell his partner?
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A man was walking along the beach when he saw a half buried ornate bottle. He picked it up and after examining it closely, removed the decorative stopper. As expected, a cloud of smoke blew out and a Genie appeared. The Genie informed the man that he was now the Genie’s master and was granted three wishes, but with a rider attached. The Genie proceeded to announce that his previous master was a lawyer and the third wish was for…
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The popular belief is that Heaven and Hell are one under the other. The actual layout is side by side, separated by a wooden fence. One afternoon on the etheral planes, a group of demons are playing football and manage to crash into the fence, demolishing a large part of it. God, anger in His eyes, roars over the fence to Satan, “Your little demons did this – therefore you must repair it!” “Fine,” says Satan. “I’ve got all the…
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This old guy named Joe invested in Microsoft stock in the early eighties and just died a wealthy man. He had no family, so his business associates were at the reading of his will, where it was learned that the old man wanted to be buried with most of his money. His banker, pastor, and lawyer were each given envelopes with $500,000 cash with the instructions to deposit the money in the casket at the funeral. Three days later at…
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A doctor, an engineer, a rabbi and a lawyer were debating who was the world’s first professional. The Doctor said, “It must have been a doctor. Who else could have helped with the world’s first surgery of taking a rib from Adam to create Eve, the first woman?” “No,” said the rabbi. “It must have been a rabbi, since the Lord needed someone to help preach his message to Adam and the world.” “Wait,” said the engineer. “The world was…
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A man was paying his lawyer a visit. The lawyer said, “I have bad news and worse news for you.” The man said, “Give me the bad news first.” “Your wife has gotten hold of a picture worth half a million dollars!” “That’s bad news? What could be worse than that?” asked the man. “Well, it’s a picture of you and your secretary.”
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