Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A guy phones a law office and says: “I want to speak to my lawyer.” The receptionist replies, “I’m sorry but he died last week.” The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist replies, “I told you yesterday, he died last week.” The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer. By this time the receptionist is getting a little annoyed and says, “I keep telling you that your lawyer…
(0)
Loading...
1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they?re heading for the cafeteria. People with the newspaper in their hands look like they?re heading for the bathroom. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.…
(0)Loading...
On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. “I’m too young to die!” she wails. Then she yells, “Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I’ve had plenty of relationships in my life, but…
(0)Loading...
Since going beyond the speed limit is the national sport in many countries, there is universal disdain for those uniformed creatures who stop you while you are driving. Here are a few things best left unsaid. – Hey, you must’ve been doing’ about 125 to keep up with me! Good job! – Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. – I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.…
(0)Loading...
102 REASONS IT’S GREAT TO BE A GUY. 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about tanks. 4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. 5. Monday Nite Football. 6. You don’t have to monitor your friends sex lives. 7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 8. You can open all your own jars. 9. Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained…
(4)Loading...
Sometimes the truth is more amusing than fiction…. A nurse at the beginning of the shift places her stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall. “Big breaths,” instructed the nurse. “Yes, they used to be,” remorsed the patient. ********** One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more that five minutes later, I heard her reporting…
(0)Loading...
For those of you who don’t know, Gay Head is the name of a small town on Martha’s Vineyard, now renamed to Aquinna (I can’t imagine why they renamed it). It is known for its fabulous beach and stunning red cliffs overlooking the beach. On my recent vacation, I decided to go there for the day. Feeling a little brave, I decided to head for the Northwest end of the beach. This is where bathing suits are optional. As I…
(0)Loading...
December 30, 2004/Washington, D.C.(Associated Press) After four years of legal wrangling, George W. Bush was finally declared the winner of the 2000 Presidential Election yesterday. Bush, a Republican, will take the oath of office at noon today and serves until January 20, 2005, a term of about three weeks. Then he gives way to the undisputed winner of the 2004 Presidential Election, New York Senator Hillary Rodham Greenspan (formerly Clinton). Facing a drastically shortened presidency, Bush attempted to strike an…
(0)Loading...
A man traveling by plane and in urgent need to use the mens room is nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the mensroom door, it was “OCCUPIED”. The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautioned him against using any of the buttons inside. The buttons were marked “WW, WA, PP and ATR”. Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding…
(0)Loading...
Stuttering John was, once again, rathered embarrassed at the toothbrush company’s monthly sales meeting. “How many tooth brushes did you sell this month?” asked his sales manager. “I ssssold fffour tttooothbrushes llast month, bboss,” stammered John. “That doesn’t cut the mustard,” shouted the sales manager, “you need to come up with a gimmick if you want to be a successful salesman!’ “Wwhat’s a gggiimmick?” asked John. “You know,” said the sales manager, “anything that will make the customer buy your…
(2)Loading...