Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
These three guys are in a bar, having a few beers, and checking out the babes as they enter the establishment. One walks in, rather attractive, and they “discuss” her “rating, “which, of course, is on a 1 to 10 scale. One says, “I’d give her a 7… she’s really quite pretty.” Another agrees, and so does the third, but the bartender, bringing a new round of drinks to their table, overhears their rating of the young lass, checks her…
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True Facts About Americans Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils. 21% of us don’t make our bed daily. 5% of us never do. Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly. 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man. 85% of men don’t use the slit in their underwear. 67.5% of men were tightie whities (briefs). The average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago…
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1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they?re heading for the cafeteria. People with the newspaper in their hands look like they?re heading for the bathroom. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.…
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One morning, Yale University Professor of English John Berdan read to his English composition class a particularly inept theme and, as usual, called for comments. The students panned it unmercifully. “Interesting,” commented Berdan, “because I wrote the theme myself.” As the critics began to blush, he continued, “You are quite right. This theme is incredibly bad. I spent two hours of painstaking effort last night to make sure I had not omitted a single feature of poor writing, and I…
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102 REASONS IT’S GREAT TO BE A GUY. 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about tanks. 4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. 5. Monday Nite Football. 6. You don’t have to monitor your friends sex lives. 7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 8. You can open all your own jars. 9. Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained…
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Sometimes the truth is more amusing than fiction…. A nurse at the beginning of the shift places her stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall. “Big breaths,” instructed the nurse. “Yes, they used to be,” remorsed the patient. ********** One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more that five minutes later, I heard her reporting…
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For those of you who don’t know, Gay Head is the name of a small town on Martha’s Vineyard, now renamed to Aquinna (I can’t imagine why they renamed it). It is known for its fabulous beach and stunning red cliffs overlooking the beach. On my recent vacation, I decided to go there for the day. Feeling a little brave, I decided to head for the Northwest end of the beach. This is where bathing suits are optional. As I…
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No, really, I’m O.K. to drive… – I’m wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I’m going with I’m not used to these darts… – I’m not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I’m this bombed. Let’s go out to my car and get some cigarettes…(male to female) – You would look great face down in my lap. Want to check out my new car stereo? (male to female) – I have…
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A drunk guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How tall are penguins?” The bartender said, “About 1 1/2 to 2 feet tall.” Then the guy walks out. A few minutes later the guy comes back in and asks, “How tall are penguins?” The bartender said, “I already said that they are about 1 1/2 to 2 feet tall.” Then the guy walks out. A few minutes later he comes back in and says, “How big did you…
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A Jew, an Italian, and a Polack all worked together at the same company. All three gentlemen knew each other well and spent much time talking at work. They began noticing that their boss was leaving work early every day. After a while, the three men became irritated that the boss was leaving early while they had to stay a full eight hours. One morning in the break room, they conspired together that if the boss left early again that…
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