Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A new minister in a small town spent the first four days desperately calling on the membership, begging them to come to his first services….He failed. Early the following week, he placed a notice in the local newspaper stating that, as the church was dead, it was his duty to give it a decent Christian burial. The funeral would be held the following Sunday afternoon, the notice said. Morbidly curious, the whole town turned out. In front of the pulpit,…
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There was this Rabbi in a small town, and he was really curious about why so many people ate pork. He wanted to try some, but there was nowhere in town he could go and not be seen. One weekend, he made an excuse and traveled to a distant town, went into a restaurant and ordered the first pork item on the menu. While he’s waiting for his order of pork, the president of his congregation walks in. He sees…
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1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, “May I borrow a highlighter?” 2. Say, “uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t have put my lips on that.” 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. 4. Say, “Dang, this water’s cold.” 5. Drop a marble and say, “Oh crap! My glass eye!” 6. Say, “Hmmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.” 7. Grunt and strain real loud…
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There is a new KFC product in New York! It is called a bucket of Hillary. You get two small breasts, two large thighs and a whole bunch of left wings.
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Guyness Quiz Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient 1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to: a.…
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Cartoon Law I. Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second^2 takes over. Cartoon Law II. Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly. Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on…
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A boy and his classmates arrive at school on Monday. Their teacher tells them that every Friday he will ask the class a question on what they have been learning, and that whoever answers it correctly will not have to go to school until Tuesday. With this, the boy decides for the first week to see how hard the question is. On Friday, the teacher asks the class, “How much water is in the Atlantic Ocean?” The boy thinks to…
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I, the undersigned, a female accepting a marriage proposal, agree that… Section 1. In the unlikely event of my not having an orgasm after you’ve drunkenly rolled on top of me and pumped away for five *whole* minutes, wheezing like an old man with emphysema, I shall politely fake one. Section 1.01 And it’ll be a really good act too, with me saying stuff like “So THIS is what hot monkey love is all about!” and howling like a cat…
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This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day. Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz. skim milk Lunch: 4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast l cup steamed spinach 1 cup herb tea 1 Oreo cookie Mid-Afternoon snack: The rest of Oreos in the package 2 pints Rocky Road ice cream nuts, cherries and whipped cream 1 jar hot fudge sauce Dinner: 2 loaves garlic bread 4 cans or…
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Now that Barbie is nearing 40, we’ve created new dolls that more realistically reflect her current life-style. 1. Bifocals Barbie: Includes her own set of blended lens fashion frames in 6 wild colors. Includes neck chain and large print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living. 2. Hot Flash Barbie: Press Barbie’s bellybutton and see her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead and upper lip. Complete with tiny tissues. 3. Facial Hair Barbie:…
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