Knock knock Jokes - page 4

Bus Driver

One day Johnny is riding his tricycle in the house. He pulls up to his brother’s room and says, “Anybody getting on the bus, get the fuck on! Anybody getting off the bus, get the fuck off! And anybody staying on, get to the fucking back!!” His brother looked at him and said, “Don’t let Mom hear you saying that or she’ll be awful mad.” So Johnny wheeled down to his sister’s room and hollered, “Anybody getting on the bus,…

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Roadblock

Mr. John Smith was travelling home after the annual Christmas office party. He had more than the legal limit to drink and was pulled off at the road block for an alcohol test.. He was asked to get out his car. The police delayed quite a bit in attending to him (There were plenty of drunken drivers on the road that night), so he decided to go home. The next morning at 6.00am there is a knock on his door,…

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The Time

A man was sleeping his car on the side of the road one night, until he was awakened by a jogger knocking at his window. He unrolled his window and looked at the jogger. “Excuse me, sir. Do you have the time?” He asked. The man looked at his watch and replied, “It’s 8:10.” The jogger thanked him and went on with his jogging. The man rolled his window back up and went back to sleep. A while later, he…

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The fishin’ hole

George was sitting at his desk and stressing over the upcoming deadlines when his boss came up to him. Their conversation went as follows: Boss: “George, when is the last time you took a vacation?” George: “Sir, I don’t have time for a vacation. There is way too much work to be done.” Boss: “George, I believe you would be more productive if you took some time to get away from your work and relax for a little bit.” George:…

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A man, A woman, and a watermelon

There is this man sitting a the bar when the most beautiful woman he has ever seen walk in. So he pops two tic-tac and walks over to her. “Lets cut the small talk, so your place or mine?” he says She looks at him and replies “Mine.” So he gets into his car and she gets into her car and the go over to her place. When they get up to her apartment he walks in and sees all…

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Politics

Discussion between a father and his 12 year old son: Son: Dad, I have to do a report for school. Can I ask you a question? Father: Sure son, whats the question? Son: What is Politics? Father: Well, let’s take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so lets call me capitalism. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the government. We take care of your needs, so lets call you the people.…

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Rings True

A small church advertised for a bell ringer. The priest answered a knock at the door and saw an armless man. “I’m here about the bell ringer job,” the man said. “But,” replied the priest, “How are you going to ring the bell with no arms?” “Watch me!” the man said. The priest and the armless man climbed the spiral staircase up to the bell tower. The armless man ran at the bell and smacked the bell with his forehead,…

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The Painting

One day, there was a blonde in a museum looking at the paintings, when she noticed one that made her speechless, as she stared studying it very closely, she assumed it to be a Picasso, but then a guy knocked her out of the way and starting combing his hair in front of it.

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Technically Speaking

Clinton died and went to heaven-or to be more accurate-approached the Pearly Gates. After knocking at the gates, St. Peter appeared. “Who goes there?” inquired St. Peter. “It’s me, Bill Clinton” “And what do you want?” asked St. Peter. “Lemme in!” replied Clinton. “Soooo,” pondered Peter. “What bad things did you do on earth?” Clinton thought a bit and answered, “Well, I smoked marijuana but you shouldn’t hold that against me because I didn’t inhale. I guess I had extra-marital…

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