Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Officer: May I see your license and registration please? Driver: Sure Officer: Could you tell me why you were driving 90 mph, ran 2 stop signs, and a traffic light? Driver: Well, it’s complicated. Officer: Go ahead. Driver: Okay, when my bag of crack spilled into my weed, I had to move my 3 empty 12-packs out of the way to clean it up and then my heroin spilled all over me. When I couldn’t find anything to wipe it…
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Airplanes and women: A comparison 1. An airplane will kill you quickly-a woman takes her time. 2. Airplanes like to do it inverted. 3. Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch. 4. An airplanes thrust to weight is higher. 5. An airplane dosn’t get mad if you “touch and go”. 6. An airplane does not object to a preflight inspection. 7. Airplanes come with manuals. 8. Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits. 9. You can…
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One day during class, the teacher decided to play a guessing game with her students. She said, “I’ll hold something behind my back, give a couple of clues, and whoever guesses what it will win lunch on me.” “Okay,” the teacher said, “the first item is round, red, and has seeds.” Katie raised her hand said, “Is it an apple?” “Sorry Katie it’s not an apple, it’s a tomato, but I like the way your thinking.” “The second object is…
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Bill: “There are a few issues we need to discuss.” Contractor: “Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for the first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?” Bill: “Uh, yeah… the first issue is the living room. We think it’s a little smaller than we anticipated.” Contractor: “Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by the release date.” Bill: “We won’t be able to fit all our furniture in there.” Contractor: “Well, you…
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The manager of a large office noticed a new employee one day and told him to come into his office. “What is your name?” was the first thing the manager asked the new guy. “Al,” the new guy replied. The manager scowled, “Look, I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my…
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Two vampires walked into a bar and called for the bartender. “I’ll have a glass of blood,” said one. “I’ll have a glass of plasma,” said the other. “Okay,” replied the bartender, “that’ll be one Blood and one Blood Lite.”
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(Warning… to see the incredible genius of this joke, you must ACTUALLY tell it to someone) Approach person… “I have a great knock knock joke, but you have to start it.” Other person… “Okay. Knock knock.” You… “Who?s there?” Wait through about 10-15 seconds of confused silence and then explode into laughter.
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A woman was looking for a room to stay at. She went to the nearest house and knocked on the door. When the owner of the house answered, the woman asked, “Do you have a room I can stay at tonight?” The man said, “Yeah, but you’ve got to sleep with my retarded son.” She said, “No, thanks anyways.” She went to the next house. When the owners answered the door, she asked for a room. They said, “Okay, but…
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Sally was seen going into the woods carrying a small package and a large bird cage. She had gone several days but finally she returned. Her friend Liz had never seen Sally looking so sad. So Liz said, “Heard you went off into the woods for a couple of days. Glad you got back okay but you look so sad. Why?” Sally replied, “Because I can’t get a man.” Liz said, “Well you sure won’t find one in the middle…
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Recently, a 93 year old woman’s husband passed away at the old age of 91. The two were very close and she hated every second she lived without her husband. In fact, she was so depressed that she came to the decision that she wasn’t going to live either and that she’d kill herself to be with her husband. She wanted to make sure that she did it right so that she wouldn’t screw up and become a lemon and…
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