Kay Jokes - page 15

Sex Ed for Little Johnny

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?” “No,” said his mom, “of course not.” Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay, we can play that game again!”

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Making the News

A newspaper reporter for the Los Angeles Times had received instructions from his senior editor to get photographs of a brush fire in the foothills of northern California. The instructions included hurrying to the Santa Monica Airport to board a small plane, taking some photos of the fire, and hurrying back by noon to meet a deadline. The reporter dressed quickly, rushed to the airport, saw the small plane waiting on the runway, drove his car to the end of…

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vet

a man takes his dog to the vet and asks why he is so ill.The vet replies your dog is very old,i think we’ll have to put him down.The man says,ive had him fifteen years,hes my best buddy,i want some tests done! The vet replies,okay we’ll give him a blood test. The results come back suggesting the dog has to be put down and the vet tells him this.The man says i’m not happy about it,can we run more tests?…

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Marriage

1. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always. 2. It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer. 3. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. 4. A man was complaining to a friend: “I had it all – money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; Then, Pow! it was all gone!” “What happened?” asked the…

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The Bill of No Rights

The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County GA: We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional, and other liberal,…

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Arkansas Folks

A guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, expecting to see some pitiful Yankee queer. The bartender looks up and says, “You aint from around here, are ya??? Where ya from, boy?” The guy says, “I’m from Iowa.” The bartender asks, “What the heck you do in Iowa?” The guy responds, “I’m a taxidermist.” The bartender asks, “A taxidermist? Now just what the heck is a taxidermist?” The…

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Speaks Perfect Yiddish

These two Jewish men are sitting in a wonderful deli, frequented almost exclusively by Jews in the Jewish section of town. They are talking amongst themselves in Yiddish. A Chinese waiter comes up and, in fluent, impeccable Yiddish, asks them if everything is okay, can he get them anything, and so forth. The Jewish men are dumbfounded. “Where did he learn such perfect Yiddish?” they are both thinking. After they pay the bill, they ask the manager of the store,…

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Here comes Trouble

There were two guys named Shut-up and Trouble. One day Shut-up said to Trouble,”Hey, Trouble let’s play hide and seek!” “Okay,” says Trouble. Shut-up goes and hides in a dumpster and a police officer comes to him and says, “What’s your name boy?” So Shut-up says, “Shut-up.” “What is your name, boy?” “Shut-up!” “Are you looking for Trouble, boy?” “No, Trouble is looking for me!” The End!

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Special License

There was a blonde driving down the center of the road going 100 mph. A police officer pulled her over. When she had finally stopped, the officer said, “License and Registration, please.” “It’s okay, Officer, I have a special license that allows me to drive this way,” she said, smiling. “That’s impossible!” the officer replied. “I’ve never heard of such a license.” The blonde reached into her purse and handed him her license. Astonished, the office said, “Just as I…

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Vanilla Pudding Delight

Some Polish Gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the best plan. The next day they get to work and are able to get into the bank relatively easy thanks to their planning. Once inside the main vault they discover one wall is full of safety deposit boxes and start to work on them immediately. They drill and pry open the first box only to find a small container of vanilla pudding inside.…

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Read JokeVanilla Pudding Delight