K y jelly Jokes - page 2

Proctologist Exam

A man went into the proctologist’s office for his first exam. The doctor told him to have a seat in the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes. When the man sat down in the examination room, he noticed that there were three items on a stand next to the doctor’s desk: a tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove, and a beer. When the doctor came in, the man said, “Look Doc,…

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Definitions for the nineties

Keep This near your desk at work so you can translate what is REALLY being said to you. 1) Politically Correct- saying something, without actually saying it so that anyone that hears you isn’t sure what was said nor can they repeat to anyone else to incriminate you. 2) Abrasive- the opposite of being p.c. (politically correct). 3) Heads up- I heard the rumor before you. 4) Challenged – Fucked. (example, “I want to Challenge you….) 5) Mentally Challenged- mentally…

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Pharmacy Humor (facts)

I work at a pharmacy in Alabama. The following are actual encounters I have had: 1.A woman comes in wanting to know why her spermacidal jelly did not work and she ended up pregnant. When we asked how she was using it she replied, “I have eaten the jelly on my toast every morning for the last month!” 2.Another woman came in complaining that she was pregnant. We looked on her profile and noticed she had been getting birth control…

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Suk Mi Pagoda Restauarant Menu

Suk Mi Pagoda Cuntonese Cuisine 6969 Fellatio Blvd. Escondildo, CA 281-6969 (that’s Two ate one, sixty-nine,sixty-nine) OO-La-La-Carte: Cream Sum Yung Guy.. Women love it Cum Drop Soup …. Same as above, but no MSG Suc Sum Tit ….. Chef’s favorite Luncheon Specials: 1. Sum Yung Chick..Sweet and delicious 2. Sum Dum Fuc …Same as #1 but without brains 3. Wong Hong Lo…Chinese sausage with 2 meatballs 4. Suc Mi Pork….Mostly white meat for light eaters 5. Suc Mi Dork….Mostly dark…

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urban myths?

INNER SKELETON A 63 year old widow was admitted to hospital in Recife, Brazil, suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body. FEMALE SOFA A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in the hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under…

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Food for Thought

Well, I’ve done a little research, and what I’ve discovered should make anyone think twice before eating that incredibly mind-boggling and oh so dangerous food: Bread! 1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread eaters. 2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests. 3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality…

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