Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A guy walks into a bird store, and right near the front counter is a big bird in a cage. On the cage is a note that reads: Here is Harry, the worlds most religous bird. The most religous bird? the customer asks. The store owner says, sure If you pull Harry’s left leg he will say the Hail Mary. The guy says this can’t be true, but the store owner says, go ahead and pull it. So he does,…
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A very inebriated lady walks into a bar shortly before closing time, sits at the bar and orders, “Barbender, Barbender, I would like a Martoutsy.” The bartender brings her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp. “Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy.” Again, the bartender brings her a Martini. By this time, the lady is leaning heavily forward, barely able to hang on. She calls, “Barbender, your Martoutsys are giving me heartburn.” Patiently, the bartender comes near her and…
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A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asks, “Johnnie! What?s your problem?” Johnnie says, “I’m too smart for the first grade. My sister’s in the third grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade!” The teacher had had enough. As a result, she took Johnnie to the principal’s office and explained Johnnie’s request. While Johnnie waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation…
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Two smart men (Portuguese) were walking in a farm. One of them saw a “cake” just made by a cow. He said to the other: “I’ll give you $1000 if you eat some of this.” The other agreed, ate some and got the money. After this the man who lost money realised that he could not lose so much money and said: “For such amount I would do the same.” The man who got the money said: “I don’t believe.”…
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What do you call a smart blonde ? A Golden Retriever.
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“I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…. and I also know that I’m not blonde.” -Dolly Parton- “You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.” -Erica Jong- “I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don’t even want to do anything that…
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A butcher in his shop, and he’s real busy, and he notices a dog in the shop. He shoos him away. But later, he notices the dog is back again. So he goes over to the dog, and notices he has a note in his mouth. He takes the note and it reads, “I need 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please. The dog has money in his mouth, as well.” The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold,…
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I’m not saying my generation was smarter. I’m just saying that in MY day, envelopes didn’t have printed instructions on them as to where to place the stamp.
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A lovely young blonde storms up to the Customer Service Desk at Wal-Mart and slams down her package to show her dissatisfaction. The young man behind the counter examines the product and asks “What’s the problem, Miss, didn’t your cat like these “Pussy Treats?” The pretty blonde opens her eyes wide in disbelief and says, “You mean these are for CATS?”
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The Top Ten Ways to Tell if Martha Stewart is Stalking Your Dog: 10. There’s potpourri hanging from his/her collar. 9. The dog’s nails have been cut with pinking shears. 8. The dog’s toys are all stored in McCoy crocks. 7. The pooper scooper has been decorated with raffia bows. 6. The telltale lemon slice in the new silver water bowl. 5. You find liver and whole wheat dog treats stamped out with copper cookie cutters and decorated with royal…
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