Jokes Jokes - page 8

Another Dumb Polish Joke

During his last visit to the United States, Pope John Paul II was interviewed by Barbara Walters for one of her TV specials. In the interview, Ms. Walters asked the Pope if he had any pet peeves. The Pope nodded and said, “I have two.” “Can you tell us what they are?” asked Ms. Walters. “Certainly,” said the Pope. “The first would be those stupid Polish jokes. These jokes are really demeaning and insulting to us Poles. We are portrayed…

(4)Loading...

Read JokeAnother Dumb Polish Joke

Top 25 Signs That You’ve Already Grown Up

Top 25 Signs That You’ve Already Grown Up 1. Your potted plants stay alive. 2. Fooling around in a twin sized bed is absurd. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep. 5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. 6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel. 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup. 8. You…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeTop 25 Signs That You’ve Already Grown Up

Take your pick…

One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had an executive make it this far, and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTake your pick…

evil clone

An electrician, and a very prosperous one a that, decided to go into the entertainment business. In doing so he became a headliner at a local night club. After a while, the man beacame very tired and couldn’t keep up with both of his jobs. In order to keep up with both his job, and still make a treendous amount of money in the process, he decided to clone himself. In doing so, the clone took over the night club…

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokeevil clone

Capitals according to a blonde

Two blondes were sitting in a booth at a local restaurant when, they overheard a man telling his buddy “stupid blonde” jokes. Then, one blonde said to the other, “I hate people that think all blondes are stupid. Because, I think I’m a really smart blonde.” Then the other blonde said, “Prove that guy wrong. Go home and learn all the capitals to all the states. And we’ll come back and prove him wrong.” So, the blonde went home and…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeCapitals according to a blonde

The Jewish Genie

A poor Jamaican fisherman was shipwrecked on a desert island. He had lost his boat, his livelihood and possessions. He was trudging round the island in a dejected mood when he came across an old brass lamp washed up on the beach. Remembering the tale of Aladdin (and the role of magic lamps in jokes) he rubbed it. POOF! A Genie appeared. A Jewish Genie. “Vey!” he said. “Am I glad to be outta there. Three hundred years I bin…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Jewish Genie

A Southern View of Yankees

ARE NORTHERNERS “BLUE-NECKS”? By now I’m sure that you have heard all the Redneck jokes. Now here are some takes on how Southern folks look at their Northern cousins: YOU JUST MIGHT BE A YANKEE IF: 1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning “to cook outside.” 2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY! 3. You don’t have any problems pronouncing “Worcestershire sauce” correctly. 4. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits. 5. You don’t know…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeA Southern View of Yankees

Rules For Women

1. Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. 2. Remember, you are known by the idiot you accompany. 3. Don’t imagine you can change a man, unless he’s in diapers. 4. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? SHUT THE DOOR! 5. So many men — so many reasons not to sleep with any of them. 6. If they put a man on the moon, we should be able…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeRules For Women

Nice Guy Test

The Nice Guy 1. How do you typically look when you arrive to pick up your date? A. I wear my church clothes B. I like to dress up. Sometimes I bring a small present or flowers C. I dress casually unless I am very impressed with the woman D. I’m late, dress as I want, and if I bring anything it’s a sixpack of beer E. I take a knife 2.”Women are special.” Is this statement true? A. Yes,…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeNice Guy Test

Too Much of the 90’s

TOP 20 THINGS THAT SHOW YOU’VE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE 90’S 20. Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car. 19. Your reason for not staying in touch with family members is that they do not have e-mail addresses. 18. Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPN’s homepage to your bookmarks. 17. You have actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents. 16. Pick up lines now include…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeToo Much of the 90’s