Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day Johnny is riding his tricycle in the house. He pulls up to his brother’s room and says, “Anybody getting on the bus, get the fuck on! Anybody getting off the bus, get the fuck off! And anybody staying on, get to the fucking back!!” His brother looked at him and said, “Don’t let Mom hear you saying that or she’ll be awful mad.” So Johnny wheeled down to his sister’s room and hollered, “Anybody getting on the bus,…
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Mr. John Smith was travelling home after the annual Christmas office party. He had more than the legal limit to drink and was pulled off at the road block for an alcohol test.. He was asked to get out his car. The police delayed quite a bit in attending to him (There were plenty of drunken drivers on the road that night), so he decided to go home. The next morning at 6.00am there is a knock on his door,…
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December 14th Dearest John: I went to the door today and UPS was here with a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn’t have been more surprised. With dearest love and affection, Agnes December 15th Dearest John: Today, UPS brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves? I’m just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable. All my love, Agnes December 16th Dear John: Oh, aren’t you the extravagant one! Now…
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John and Dan were ridin their horses across a north americian plane and they were sort on cash so they pulled into a Ranch and went up to the owner and asked if they could do some work for some cash. The farmer said no i dont but i will give you $500 for every Indian you kill but you have to bring thier heads back with you. So anyway they set off across the plane when they came across…
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Lil’ Johnny’s mother had been away a week at a N.O.W. convention, and when she returned home, she was anxious to hear about his week. “Well, one night we had a thunderstorm, and I was scared, so Daddy and me slept together,” her son said. “Johnny!” said the boy’s French Au Pair, “Don’t you mean ‘Daddy and I’?” “No!” replied Johnny. “That was Thursday. I’m talking about Monday night.”
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“EVERYTHING COMES IN THREES” Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when three “ones” come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way, in medieval times it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern. “YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU (When you die)” Well….., that depends on what it is. If it’s your dark blue suit, you can certainly…
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These are true stories supposedly… * Don’t let worry kill you- let the church help. * Thursday night – Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. * Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. * For those of you who have children and didn’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs. * The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs.…
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Twenty-four hours in a day, twenty-four beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not! Last words spoken at the Last Supper: “Everyone who wants to be in the picture, get on this side of the table.” Why are there so many Smiths and Johnsons in the phone book? They all have phones. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. Shouldn’t there be a shorter word for “monosyllabic?” Did you know that half of…
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After nearly forty years in practice as a gynecologist, John decided he had enough money to retire and take up his real love, auto mechanics. He left his practice, enrolled in auto mechanics school, and studied hard. The day of the final exam came and John worried if he would be able to complete the test with the same proficiency as his younger classmates. Most of the students completed their exam in two hours. John, on the other hand, took…
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“This is to hep yu’all who don’t have the plesur of livin in the sunny South, which is sometimes covered in ice! Those who do, will wunder why these wus ever wrote down in the furst place.” Sayings in the South: “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. “It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.” “Have a cup of coffee, it’s already ‘saucered and blowed.” “It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.” “My…
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