Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Old Joe walked into a bar and began ordering martini after martini. After each drink, he removed the olives and placed them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks were consumed, Joe got up to leave. “S’cuse me,” said the bartender. “What was that all about?” “Nothing,” answered Joe. “My wife just sent me out for a jar of olives.”
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There were two guys, Bob and Joe. Now Bob and Joe LOVED hockey, and they went to hockey games every weekend. And every Saturday after the games they searched the parking lot, not remembering where they parked their car. One day Bob decided he had a brilliant idea, and he was going to surprise Joe. That morning when he went to pick up Joe for the game, he was riding on a donkey. Joe looked at him with complete amazement…
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COMPUTER VIRUSES Woody Allen Virus Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card. Tonya Harding Virus Turns your BAT files into lethal weapons. Paul Revere Virus Warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\. Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus Instantly turns 1 K of disk space into 1 Meg. Ollie North Virus Plays a patriotic WAV while it shreds your files. Joey Buttafuoco Virus Only attacks minor files. Lorena Bobbit Virus Your hard disc…
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JOE USED TO GO TO SCHOOL VERY DIRTY AND SHABBY. ONE DAY THE TEACHER SENT HIM BACK HOME WITH A NOTE”SEE THAT JOE TAKES A BATH EVERY DAY” NEXT DAY THE BOY CAME BACK IN THE SAME CONDITION BUT WITH A DIFFERENT NOTE”TEACH HIM DON’T SMELL HIM”
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Joe, a small young businessman was having a conversation with a large construction worker. It was about what would they would do if an atomic war had been declared and they only had twenty minutes to live. The construction worker said that he would fuck anything that moved. He then asked Joe what he would do. Joe replied, “I would stand perfectly still.”
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A farmer has finally decided to let his three daughters start dating. But he tells them he has to meet each boy when they come to pick them up. The first boy arrives, and the farmer is on the porch holding a shotgun. The farmer says, “Who are you?” The boy responds, “Hi, my name is Eddie, I came to pick up Betty. We’re going out to get some spaghetti, is she ready?” The farmer says she is and they…
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One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe say’s to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.” “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money.” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a lot cheaper than a doctor.” So Joe…
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Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn’t eat? Shut up and eat your meat loaf. Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner? Shut up, we haven’t even finished your Grandmother yet. Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sisters guts. Shut up and eat what’s put in front of you. Mommy, Mommy! What’s an Oedipus complex? Shut up and kiss me! Mommy, Mommy! What’s for dinner? Shut up and get back in the…
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True story. Some years ago, we had been getting lots of wrong numbers late at night for this particular bar whose number was similar to ours. After being rudely awakened from a sound sleep for the third time that night, my husband got up yet once again to answer the phone. “Hello.” “No, Betty is not here. She just left with Joe about 10 minutes ago!!!” Click.
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APPLICATION FOR ARKANSAS DRIVERS LICENSE Last name: __________________________ First name: (Check appropriate box) [_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue [_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo [_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann [_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee [_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen [_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Age: ____ (if unsure, guess) Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: [_] Farmer [_] Mechanic [_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress [_] Unemployed [_] Dirty Politician Spouse’s Name: __________________________ 2nd Spouse’s Name: _______________________ 3rd Spouse’s…
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