Japan Jokes - page 3

Bureau de Change

Japanese guy goes into a bureau de Change with 2000 Yen. He exchanges it for $77. He goes away and spends it, and goes back the next day with another 2000 Yen and the cashier this time gives him $62. He looks at his money and says, ‘Why you give me $15 less today?’ The cashier replies, ‘Fluctuations.’ To which he replies, ‘Well, fluck you Amelicans too!’

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Chop Chop

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking, minding his own business when, all of a sudden, this great big dude comes in and — WHACK! — he knocks him off the bar stool and says, “That was a karate chop from Korea.” The little guy thinks, “GEEZ” but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again. All of a sudden, –WHACK! — the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, “That was a…

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The three Ninjas

There was a contest held in Japan, the contest was between three Ninjas from different countries. There was a Japanese Ninja, an American Ninja and a Trinidadian Ninja. The contest was who can chop flies the best. So the Japanese Ninja went first, the fly came flying about and in a flash the Japanese Ninja chopped the fly in half with one strike, the crowed went wild. The American Ninja went next and with great speed and skill the fly…

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The Turkey Wanker

This jobless guy goes into a job centre looking for work, and is told that he’ll HAVE to take whatever job he picks at random from a bucket. So he delves deep, and pulls out one that says “TURKEY WANKER REQUIRED”. He has no option, and goes to this nearby farm. He speaks to the farmer, who explains that the latest craze in Japan is for women to smear turkey spunk on their faces to prevent wrinkles. And the farmer…

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Consumer Labels

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Warning: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, but that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On…

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Fake or Real???

This guy sees an ad for a new number in the circus, so he goes an tries out. He brings with him an alligator, a monkey, and a toy piano. The circus director says, “What can you do?” “Well, my alligator plays the piano and the monkey sings.” The circus director does not believe this, but the guy proves it. They soon become the number 1 act in all the world’s circuses. Once, however, in Japan, a show is about…

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‘bozo’ index

Just in case we need any additional proof that the “bozo index” is at all time highs (and going higher), consider these for-real label instructions on consumer goods: ************************************* On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that…

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