Jane jane Jokes - page 2

Little Johnny & the taste test

One day a third grade teacher was giving a guessing test to her students. She told them to close their eyes, while she put an item of food in their mouth. She told Bobby to close his eyes and open his mouth. She put an orange slice in his mouth and said, “Tell me what it is.” Bobby said an orange slice. She said, “You win.” She told Jane to do the same and she put a Hershey’s kiss in…

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Laid off

A man owns a business and has two employees; Jane and Jack. They are both very good employees but business has been bad and he finds he has to cut back on staff and lay one of them off. But which one? They are both equally industrious and productive. He wracks his brains for hours and finally decides that he will watch them the next day and lay off the first one that takes a break. Well, the next day…

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Diary of a Viagra Housewife

Day 1. Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to reenact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried. Wussy. Day 2. Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He’s impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn’t he tell me something I don’t know! I mean, gimme a break. He’s been dysfunctional for so long that he…

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68 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clock to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him, “I need some…

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Honey-DO List

Jane entered the kitchen one morning, reached to turn on the light, and it didn’t work. After replacing the bulb, still no light. When John, her husband, came home, she said “Honey, the light switch is broken. Could you fix it for me please? To which John replied while displaying proudly the front of his TShirt, “Do you see ‘Electrician’ written on the front of this shirt?” Jane said nothing. Next day John came home and Jane said, “Honey, the…

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You Can Smell This One Coming

Father Brown was walking on the grounds of the convent when he noticed Sister Jane walking by. He thought, “Sister Jane seems to be heavier now.” So he called out to her, “Sister Jane, aren’t we gaining some weight?” “Oh, no, Father,” said Sister Jane. “Just a little gas. That’s all.” Two months later, Father Brown again noticed that Sister Jane seemed to be much larger than the last time he saw her. So he approached her and remarked, “Sister…

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Hair Like Yours

Jane got a new job as a stylist at a beauty salon. During her second week on the job, a bald woman walked into the salon and said to Jane. “I’ve tried everything to make my hair grow, and nothing works! I’m a rich woman–I’ll give you $25,000 if you can make my hair look just like yours.” “No problem,” said Jane, and quickly shaved her own head.

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Gals’ Night Out

Last Saturday night to celebrate my birthday, my sister-in-law phoned a few of my friends and took me to a male strip club. I have to admit, some of these guys are quite attractive. To get the evening moving, my sister-in-law Angela started waving a ten-dollar bill, and a male dancer came right up to us. She licked the bill and stuck it on his butt, and this guy started gyrating right in her face. My friend Jane was getting…

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Tarzan’s Job Interview

Tarzan decided to return to civilization with Jane and their son. He also decided to find work in the city. This was how his job interview went : Interviewer : Name? Tarzan : Me, Tarzan. Interviewer : Married? Tarzan : Wife Jane. Interviewer : Children? Tarzan : Son Boy. Interviewer : Anything else to your name besides Tarzan? Tarzan : Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle. Interviewer : Jane’s whole name? Tarzan : Jane’s hole named Pussy.

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